


Moonshot

by irphanfic



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: AU, Angst, Baseball player!Dan, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Window cleaner!Phil, a bit ooc but okay, alternative universe
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-30
Updated: 2018-01-31
Packaged: 2018-11-21 14:12:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 37,458
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11359122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/irphanfic/pseuds/irphanfic
Summary: Phil had a feeling that this Friday was going to be different.That didn't mean he was ready to meet his favourite baseball player, Daniel Howell, while he was cleaning the windows of a building.or the au in which Phil is a shy window cleaner and Dan is a famous baseball player. This is their story.





	1. First Meeting

**Author's Note:**

> Long time no see! So, this is my first chaptered fanfic and I will try to do my best to complete it a soon as I can. I already have a few chapters written but I still want to check them again, see if my inspiration can be a bit more useful... 
> 
> I want you to know that english is not my first language so I apologize if you find any typos or mistakes, my fics are only proofread by me so I'm sorry.
> 
> Anyways, I hope you enjoy my stories and any type of feedback is welcome!

Phil had a feeling that this Friday was going to be different.

He had to admit he was used to his monotone life of cleaning the same windows almost every day, watching the same dull curtains that didn't allow him to ''spy'' into the fancy living rooms of the people that lived in the building he worked in. Sometimes, some neighbour would forgot to close their curtains, and it didn't take long till they noticed Phil and dragged the long fabrics across the large windows. It always made Phil giggle when they started shouting at him without even considering that he couldn't hear them because of the thickness of the window glass.

With a sigh, he rearranged his uniform, put on his earphones that were connected to an old pocket radio and got on the elevator like metal platform which would take him through the floors of the high building.

Once he had reached the top floor he noticed something wasn't right. The maroon curtains that had been there a few days ago weren't there anymore. Actually, there weren't any curtains now and he could clearly spot a few brown boxes around, as if someone was moving in.

Phil, the curious person he was, didn't think twice about it and leaned in a bit, trying to take a closer look into the flat. He was admiring the great and spacious kitchen and living room when suddenly the front door that was across him opened and made him jump a bit when he saw a dark but recognizable silhouette entering the room.

It couldn't be. No. Was that Daniel Howell who was distractedly speaking on his mobile phone? The famous Dan Howell that was one of the best baseball players of the country? No. It couldn't be. But then, the person took some steps forwards, letting Phil clearly see his profile, his signature smile and defined nose clearly in sight, finally recognizing the brown curly hair that was often hidden under a black cap. Yep, it was definitely Dan Howell. There was no doubt now.

Phil took a deep breath and calmed himself as he processed whatever was happening. He and his brother were great baseball fans, especially of Dan's team, 'Rocky Planets'. They were one of the best teams on the league right now and Dan Howell was one of their star players.

Phil still hadn't gotten the chance to see them play at the stadium. His brother Martyn had been lucky and won two tickets last year and had offered Phil to come with him, but he let him take his girlfriend Cornelia instead, who was also a big baseball fan and that way Martyn could impress her by taking her to a game.

Anyways, Phil made sure to follow every game on TV. He had to admit that Dan was one of his favourite players. He loved the way he played, he was so determined and driven by it it was impressive. Also, he liked his interviews too. Dan showed his cleverness in them, his responses always correctly answered and making sense in every sentence he said. Oh, and he was attractive too. Like really attractive. But it wasn't important, even though Phil had to admit he wouldn't mind getting hugged by those toned arms while he looked into his brown eyes. No, not at all.

Without noticing, the window cleaner continued admiring the way the brown haired gesticulated with his free hand, rapidly speaking words on the phone Phil couldn't really hear. He was mesmerized by the way his rosy lips moved, sometimes curling up in a soft smile, making Phil copy it, really loving this new soft side of the baseball player which people who loved the sport weren't actually used to see. Phil was so deep in thought that he only startled when Dan looked into his direction, making the brown haired jump at the surprise of finding Phil there, just standing at the other side of the window staring at him.

The window cleaner realized that he was coming across as a crazy stalker so he quickly averted his gaze down to his shoes at the same time his cheeks turned pinkish, embarrassed at what had happened. Was then when he spotted the cleaning products and tools he was supposed to be using and picked one of the bottles and a squeegee, not even looking at which product it was and sprayed a bit on the windows, trying not to make eye contact with the person that was surely looking at him.

Phil walked through the platform working as fast as he could. Spray and clean. Spray and clean. He worked as if he was on autopilot.

He reached the last window and was about to spray again when he came face-to-face with Dan Howell once again, who was apparently done speaking on the phone.

The brown eyed lifted his hand and made a sign to Phil, as if to wait to spray the product again. Phil, unable to look away, just nodded and lowered the bottle and squeegee to the floor as he saw Dan leave running through a door that was at the far end of the living room, only to see him come back a few seconds later with an A4 sized notebook and a black sharpie, who didn't loose a second on taking off the lid of the marker with his teeth and quickly scribbling something down on the notebook, leaving Phil as confused (but at the same time surprised) as he had ever been; but it faded away when Dan turned the notebook around so Phil could read what he had written down.

_'Hi! Nice to meet you, I'm Dan and you?'_

The blue eyed shyly smiled at Dan's intentions, a faint blush appearing on his cheeks at the fact that the real Dan Howell wanted to know his name. Phil, knowing that he didn't have any paper and pen around, leaned a bit and breathed on the window, a small foggy spot starting to create, where, after thinking quickly so it wouldn't fade away, he traced his name in big and clear capital letters, trying and succeding in writing them in the correct direction so Dan wouldn't have trouble reading them.

_'Phil?'_ Was the next thing the blue eyed read on the notebook to which he nodded repeatedly, giving Dan the confirmation he needed. 

Phil saw how Dan started writing again on a new blank page, stopping mid-sentence to take his phone from his front pocket as it probably vibrated with a notification (as Phil could only guess); brown eyes widening before putting the device back into his pocket and starting to write again.

_'Nice to meet you Phil. Have to run off now, sorry!'_

Phil just shrugged and waved him goodbye as he tried not to show his disappointment, even though he was a bit sad he couldn't keep ''talking'' to Dan anymore. He saw as Dan left the notebook and sharpie on the coffee table by the window that was the only thing (apart from the glass) separating them before the brown haired waved back at him, running towards the door he had gone through earlier only to see him appear again wearing a black denim jacket.

The window cleaner didn't even have time to get back to work as he saw Dan walking towards him again, only to pick up the notebook and sharpie again and opening it on a new page, starting to rapidly scribble down something more, but not letting Phil read it straight away.

Phil watched as Dan left the notebook open on the coffee table, not even giving him time to read anything as he felt a tap against the glass, making his gaze lift up and make eye contact with the chocolate coloured eyes, which blinked a few times before offering Phil a cheeky wink; a gesture that made him blush for like the third time that morning. But before he could even respond, Dan was rushing out of the front door, looking back at him one last time with a smile.

Phil deeply sighed as he saw the front door close, only to remember that he still had a message for him.

_ ''I hope to see you around my windows more often. You are quite a view  ♥' _

By the time he had made it safely back to the street a deep blush was still visible on his face.

_______________

 

''C'mon, can't you be faster?'' Dan groaned in the empty hallway as he waited for the elevator to come all the way up. Why did he decide to buy an apartment on the last floor? The views of the city had been one of the reasons for sure, but was waiting for the elevator for such a long time worth it?

After seeing the shy window cleaner of the building he was sure his friends wouldn't mind if he arrived a bit later than he often was.

The 'ping' coming from the elevator alerted him of its' arrival and by taking a step and getting onto it, Dan pressed the last floor button before getting lost on his thoughts again.

''Does Phil know who I am?'' was the first thing Dan muttered to himself. ''I just wanted to be nice to him but probably scared him with my forwardness?''

Dan had to admit he had been quite surprised (and at the same time scared) when he had found him there, standing outside; but the black haired man rapidly reacted by reaching to pick up some bottle and gave Dan the hint that he was only the window cleaner of the building. The way he turned and started cleaning as he didn't have any other purpose in life was a sign.

He had to admit he kept staring at Phil and his movements, almost hypnotized by the repetitive way he was cleaning the windows.

That was when he got probably the dumbest idea he had ever had. Dan didn't know any of his neighbours yet, and probably knowing some of the staff that worked in the building wouldn't be bad either...

''Yeah, Dan, you should totally introduce yourself to a stranger by writing down on a notebook since he cannot hear you scream from inside the room. That will work! It will make him feel comfortable and not totally awkward!'' That was how he found himself in front of a stranger who had the bluest eyes he had ever seen. It wasn't after a few seconds later when he noticed the black fringe, which really made his sharp cheekbones stand out. Wow, he really was something. But that was not the point. Not at all.

The baseball player face-palmed himself literally as he recalled what he would have looked to Phil now. Dan was sure that in Phil's mind he was probably named something like 'Crazy tall guy'. Oh God. Could this be any worse?

One time he wanted to be nice and he came across as a mad man. Great.

But, wait a minute. Phil didn't pull any weird faces when he read the first message. The brown haired had noticed Phil's shyness at first but he didn't seem so bad after it. He had even introduced himself!

''Maybe my last message scared him...'' Dan had to admit he didn't hold back often. If someone was cute, he would tell them. If someone was being rude, he would tell them. This time he thought Phil was... beautiful. Yeah, that was probably the word for it; so he told him. Maybe not with the exact same words but he did.

Dan just sighed. He could only hope for the best now.

''Let's just hope he shows up again on Monday'' was the last thing Dan could say as the elevator had reached the last floor with another 'ping' echoeing in the hallway as the doors slid open, giving him the hint that he had to get out now if he didn't want to get scolded as if he was a child for arriving late.

 


	2. First Conversation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan and Phil have their first proper conversation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back with a new chapter! Hope you are enjoying this story so far and as you know, you can always leave feedback, any type of comment is welcome <3
> 
> Hope you enjoy this chapter!

After an uneventful weekend it was time to come back to work. Deep down, Phil knew he was kind of excited to be up so early on a Monday, because that meant maybe he would be lucky enough to see Dan Howell again.

And maybe he was kind of hoping to see if he would write to him this time too. 

That's when Phil got the idea of bringing a notebook and a navy blue marker he had lying around in his flat to work today. At least he could answer back properly... 

Hopping onto the metal platform he began his day, the monotone coloured curtains appearing on his vision every now and then as he went up at the same time as the sun did.

Phil sighed and tried to keep a neutral face as the platform reached the top floor, trying not to get his hopes up if Dan wasn't there. 

The window cleaner was ready to spray on the window when he suddenly spotted a tracksuit claded Dan dancing around in the kitchen as he ate some fruit? Dan Howell didn't dance! Even when his team won he didn't celebrate it by dancing! 

Phil kept staring at him, how the player's hips and feet moved at the same time of the music Phil imagined he was blasting.

Dan might know how to play, but surely he didn't know how to dance was what Phil thought. He kept trying to stifle a laugh at the movements when suddenly Dan spotted him and directly made eye contact with him. 'Oh shit. I'm busted.' was the only thing the blue eyed could think of as he felt his cheeks turning pink. He rapidly adverted his gaze and crouched down, picking up the notebook and marker he had brought.

Once he was up again he showed the new items to Dan, who pulled a surprised face at them but let out a chuckle before walking towards the living room to pick up his and coming closer to the window so he would stand just in front of Phil. 

_'Sorry for interrupting your dancing!'_ the black haired wrote down as soon as he saw Dan stop in front of him. 

Dan made some signs of dismissing him as he turned a bit pink, probably embarrassed at the thought of some stranger watching him dance. He never was or had been shy! Who was this Dan? 

Phil waited for a response. Dan stood there, looking down at his notebook, as if thinking what to write, a hint of uncertainty on his expression.  _'Dancing is not really my thing... baseball is'_ was all the black haired could read once Dan had turned the notebook. 

'Oh, right. Dan didn't know if I recognized him or not.' Phil thought, starting to write his next message.  _'That's probably because you are Dan Howell.'_

Dan sheepisly nodded at it and stared down as if trying to think of a response to that. _'So you know who I am. Baseball fan?'_ said his next message. 

The blue eyed eagerly nodded, smiling widely. A great baseball fan. _'Actually, a big Rocky Planets fan.'_ he proudly showed Dan, who pulled a surprised faced and smiled, quickly writing down on his notebook again. 

_ 'It's always a pleasure to meet a fan like you Phil... (insert surname here!)' _ Phil laughed at the player's new message, showing his tongue between his teeth as he usually did. 

_ 'Lester. Nice to meet you too Mr. Howell'  _ Phil hesitated a bit before turning around his notebook. Was Mr. Howell too formal? They weren't friends, not even acquaintances and Dan was a famous person... He decided that calling him Mr. Howell for now was the safest option. 

By the face Dan pulled maybe it hadn't been the most clever thing...  _ 'Please Phil, just call me Dan, Mr. Howell sound pretty bad tbh'  _

The window cleaner shyly smiled and wrote his answer, taking a bit more of time to write it. _ 'Dan it is. Hope you don't mind me having me around your windows every Monday, Wednesday and Friday.' _

Dan shook his head no and started scribbling down again, biting his lower lip as he did so. 

The blue eyed frowned. What was Dan playing at? Phil needed to be ready to see whatever answer he was scribbling down. 

_'Believe me, I won't mind at all. You are a sight for sore eyes.'_ Dan winked at the same time he showed him a cheeky grin. That smooth bastard.

Phil could only gap at him like a fish as he felt his face go red. He might have been expecting this kind of answer, but still, he couldn't believe Dan Howell thought he was pretty enough to have him around three days a week to do his job. He didn't know how to even respond to that. 

And, by his luck, Phil wouldn't get to respond because from what he could see, someone had ringed Dan's front door and he was walking towards it, checking through the peephole to see who it was. 

The player turned around again, facing Phil with a face expression that he coudln't really place. Was it disappointment? He couldn't really tell. But before the black haired read more into it another message appeared in front of him  _'My friend is waiting for me. Sorry to leave you like this. See u Wed?_ _☺'_

Phil could only nod a few times, offering Dan a soft smile before lifting a hand and waving him goodbye; smiling a bit more when he saw the brown haired do the same before he picked up his belongings and opened the door, greeting his friend but turning around, offering Phil one last gaze before closing the door completely. 

''Time to spray and clean'' the blue eyed said to himself with a sigh as he exchanged his notebook and marker for a bottle and an old rag.

What a good start to the week.

_______________

 

''Why didn't you let me in! Were you hiding something in there, Howell? Is your new flat really that horrible?'' his friend and also team mate Eric teased him. 

Dan pushed him jokingly as they walked down the corridor towards the elevator, ''shut up! No, it was nothing, really.'' 

He didn't know if he should tell Eric about Phil. Dan felt like he could tell his friend about his tiny crush on Phil (because it was tiny... yeah, keep telling yourself that), but he wasn't sure. They just meet each other and their only proper conversation was just two minutes ago... It didn't feel right to pour his heart into his friend unless he was sure about what he wanted with Phil. 

''Sure... if that's what you say...'' Eric suggested as they rode down the elevator, ''maybe it wasn't something, but it was someone, right?'' his blonde eyebrows moved up and down as a sly smile appeared on his face. 

Dan groaned as he pushed the button of the last floor of the elevator. There was no way he would get out without giving Eric some more info. ''It was the window cleaner of the building, okay? He just appeared out of nowhere and I was a bit surprised, that's all.'' 

He hoped Eric was okay with that; he wouldn't say more about Phil of whatever he felt towards him. 

''I'm going to guess and say he was nice or attractive. If you are uncomfortable in any situation you always find a way to escape and I had to ring your doorbell like three times! It was your perfect escape opportunity and you didn't take it.'' Eric suddenly said. And he was right. 

If Dan was uncomfortable in any situation, no matter what, he tried to find a quick excuse to avoid it, and if his window cleaner hadn't been Phil, he was sure he would have the curtains drawn 24/7. 

Dan sighed in defeat, there was no point in lying now. '''yeah, fine. He was both of those things, okay? You happy?'' 

Eric grinned at him and Dan was sure he would have smacked that smile off his face if it wasn't because 1. he was his friend and 2. the elevator doors opened so they could get off. 

Dan looked up one they were out on the street and saw Phil's platform slowly making his way down. He really wanted to keep talking to him... Was it normal to want to keep talking to someone who you only have meet twice? Dan sighed and looked at Eric, who had another grin on his face, but changed it for a soft smile. 

''I am now, Howell. I am.'' Eric said as he patted him on the shoulder, making both chuckle a bit.

It was more than a little crush, right? 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! You can follow me on Tumblr at irphanfic.tumblr.com to know the updates of my phanfics or if you want to prompt me anything. See you next time! :D


	3. Drizzle and Pink Cheeks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phil talks with his brother about Dan. It rains. Dan feels lonely and both discover how easy they make eachother blush.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back with a new chapter! Hope you are enjoying this story so far and as you know, you can always leave feedback, any type of comment is welcome <3
> 
> Hope you enjoy this chapter!

Wednesday and Friday came and were gone in the blink of an eye. Dan and Phil kept talking through the windows, both days playing the ''20 questions'' game so they could know each other better.

Phil had decided that he would try and not be so shy around Dan, try to think of him as a normal person; just because he was sport star didn't mean he had to act any different if he was going to see him a few days every week.

They often both got so excited to know that they liked the same movie or videogame their conversation went from one topic off to another easily, forgetting they were even playing a game and also making Phil forget he was talking to the real Dan Howell.

They shared so many interests Phil was sure it was kind of unbeliveable to have found someone such like him. It had never happened to him before. Some of his other partners and friends even made fun of him for liking cartoons they thought they were 'childish', but not with Dan. They could talk about Steven Universe for hours.

It was Sunday evening now and Martyn was lazying around his flat since they had meet for lunch but it started raining so they came back to Phil's.

''So, you are telling me, you met Daniel Howell? The same Daniel Howell that plays in the 'Rocky Planets' and is one of the best baseball players of the country? Are you pulling my leg?''

Martyn asked what was new in his life and that was it! It wasn't his fault that he didn't want to believe him!

''Yeah, I was about to clean the windows on the top floor when suddenly he appeared! He moved in, apparently, and now I'm his window cleaner. How random, right?'' Phil said, handing his brother a beer while he took a sip of his soda.

Martyn stood there, gawking at him until apparently he found his voice again. ''Did you talk to him? If you did, what did you say? Could he even hear you? Did you get to meet him later? And most importantly, I am your brother, why didn't I know about this sooner!'' Martyn punched his arm slightly, making Phil wince at the not-so-weak punch.

''Calm down! Let's just sit by the tv and I will tell you everything, okay?''

Both Lesters sat down on the comfy cushions and Phil started sepaking. He tried not te dwell into details, but it was impossible. He kind of wanted to talk about Dan 24/7 and all he had said to him. It was probably because he had the biggest crush on him but still, they had only talked like three days and Phil could consider him his friend already. It was kind of impossible to think about the possibility of having Dan Howell as a friend or even anything more to be honest. At least dreaing was free.

Once Phil had finsihed looked back at Martyn, who smiled cheekily at him. ''I think Dan Howell likes you Philly''.

What!? What was his brother even talking about!? Yeah, Dan told him he was 'attractive' (maybe not with that exact word but still), at least it was implied in some of the messages. Dan could flirt with a rock and even make it blush even thought it wasn't even a living thing! But Phil wasn't even sure about what to think... Dan could also be playing the 'flirty' persona the media talked about with him too and even though Phil didn't want to believe the media, sometimes it was inevitable.

''I... I... Martyn no! He doesn't like me, at least not the way you think...'' Phil's voice got quieter by the end of the sentence. Why was he feeling this sad about something that had a chance of 1 in at least a billion of happening?

Martyn patted him on the back a few times, as if sensing he was upset. ''Hey Phil, have you tried flirting back?''

Phil shook his head and muttered an almost quiet no.

''Then, flirt back!'' Martyn ruffled his hair, trying to cheer him up like when they were little ''and if you don't feel comfortable enough or if Dan seems unamused just stop it. There is still a possibility of you two being friends. I mean, from what you have told me you have so much in common, even more than you and I have and we are brothers!''

Phil just shrugged, ''I guess... we could be friends.''

With that last sentence they let the topic aside and talked about a few other things till Martyn had to leave.

Phil looked out of the window as soon as the front door was closed. It was still raining and he could only cross his fingers so it would stop by tomorrow because cleaning windows with rain was a real nightmare.

He must have the worst luck ever because he had to grab his raintcoat next morning because it kept drizzling.

_______________

Dan woke up slowly on Monday morning, rolling around his king sized matress and white sheets for a few minutes before opening his eyes only to see that a light rain was hitting his bedroom window.

Groaning, he picked up his phone and checked his social media and read the few messages he had received during the night, not bothering to answer them since he was still sleepy and din't want to risk sending something stupid to his agent.

He put his phone back on the nightstand and rolled on his back, putting one of his hands behind his head, the other lazily caressing his stomach as he watched boringly his white ceiling, just... thinking.

Dan moved his neck a bit and stared at hs bedroom door, kind of expecting someone to burst in with a tray, carrying his coffee with some fruit and pancakes with a small vase that had a rose on it.

He internally laughed at this thought. Real life was never like that.

With a sigh he turned his stare back again at the ceiling, finally teh realization of how lonely he was settling in, felling a weight on his chest as if he was scared of being alone forever. Not having anyone by your side was a scary thought that often made him anxious. Yes, he had his team mates and also friends, but it wasn't the same.

He wanted a romantic relationship, having someone you can share your love and affection with. He couldn't even recall teh last time he had recieved a hug... It had been so long. He craved caresses and cuddles, shot and long kisses, even sex...

Since he became a famous baseball player the media talked about the few romances he ''had'' with certain celebrities. Yes, ''had'' because they were never real. They were all publicity stunts so his partner at the time could ensure their fame for a while.

The brown eyed kind of hoped that those fake relationships would turn into something real as he ahd seen in many movies, where people have to pretend to be in love and somehow manage to fall for eachother and lived a ''happily ever after''.

But it was just pure bullshit that never happened in real life.

It had been a while since he had had this kind of thoughts but now they had decided to come back and Dan didn't like it.

A lone tear made his way down his cheek, trailing down his face and getting lost on his neck, but before he could dwell into that though some more he got up, grabbed his pyjama bottoms and a sweatshirt and walked out of his bedroom only to find a bored looking Phil already cleaning his windows while he wore the most yellow raincoat he had even seen shielding him from the drizzle.

Phil looked so damn good in that hideous yellow raincoat it was ridiculous! No one looked good in yellow! But somehow Phil was making it work... That yellow raincoat was making Dan feel something in his stomach...

Dan was glad the rain seemed to be stopping soon so Phil couldn't be out in the rain for too long, he felt bad enough seeing him working under this weather but it didn't seem like the window cleaner was minding it much, or if he did he wasn't showing it.

The blue eyed finally spotted him, waving at him before taking out a notebook and a marker from a light blue backpack.

Dan softly smiled at the gesture, walking closer to the windows so he could sit by the couch armrest as he also grabbed his paper and sharpie.

_'Thought you left me alone on this rainy morning... :( ps: cute morning bedhair'_

The brown haired shook his head and looked at his feet at Phil's message. He didn't expect this message and less from someone so shy like Phil, but maybe he was trying to be closer to Dan (even as a friend) and if Phil wanted, Dan was going to let him, because he was feeling a bit vulnerable and probably was blushing now, something he didn't like showing. Maybe because he had to hide his 'soft' side from everybody for so long that it felt strange now...

He had always acted so forwards towards everyone, even to the window cleaner on those first days, but Dan wanted to leave that aside, let his unvarnised persona be shown a bit more. He only acted that way when he felt that he could trust someone, and with Phil he felt he could even just after a few days.

Maybe it was because he hadn't feel this comfortable in a while and needed to be showered with some affection after this morning, but he wasn't thinking about that.

 _'No, you are not getting rid of me that easily! Sorry you have to work under the rain, it probably sucks. ps: my morning hair is not cute, it's gross... but thank you for the compliment'_ Dan wrote and showed Phil, whose black fringe was getting a bit wet since the hat of his raincoat was falling down.

It was Phil's turn to shake his head, a few dropplets of water moving at the action, trying to shield his notebook from getting more wet. _'Your curls are nice, but messy curls look even better on you. Adorable'_

If Dan hadn't blushed a few seconds ago, he was sure his red cheeks were showing now. He hid behind his notepad as he tried to tame his hair a bit, he was sure it wasn't that nice to look at.

He kind of liked being showered in compliments that weren't shout by strangers... But Phil was being so nice that Dan felt the need to compliment him back just to make it even between the two. It wasn't fair if he was the only one getting the pretty words.

 _'shut up! you are the one looking all adorable on that yellow raincoat!'_ he wrote fast, trying to keep his best handwriting. It would be so much easier if they could talk... Was it too early in they 'friendship' to ask for his phone number? Well, he didn't have time to think about that now.

He turned his notebook around and saw how Phil's cheeks went also a bit pink, trying to also hide his face by ducking his head.

They both lowered their notebooks and chuckled at the same time, making both of them burst into laughter at their identical gestures. Once the giggles died down Dan was the frst to signal to his kitchen, as a sign that he felt hungry and needed breakfast. Phil nodded as he took a green bottle and started spraying the windows.

Even though they were trying to do their respective tasks, the two boys kept sneaking side glances and smiles at each other for a few minutes until Phil already finished and wrote his goodbye, Dan quickly writing back his, trying not to show how sad he was that Phil was leaving him all alone with his thoughts again...

''Bye Phil, hope to see you on Wednesday...'' Dan said out loud with a loud sigh once the black haired had disappeared from his sight.

Dan groaned loudly as he threw his body on the sofa. After these messages Dan was sure his crush on Phil wasn't that little anymore. It couldn't be. The man was so sweet and nice and they had so much in common it was difficult to stop his feelings from developing. Feelings that were new for Dan and felt scary but also exciting to discover.

He could only hope for the best now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! You can leave a comment and/or kudos if you want to. It would mean a lot <3
> 
> You can follow me on Tumblr at irphanfic.tumblr.com to know the updates of my phanfics or if you want to prompt me anything. See you next time! :D


	4. Radio Interviews And Phone Numbers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan does a radio interview and Phil listens. Baseball season is starting agai... Does that mean no more messages through the windows?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> new chapter! I think this turned out to me more dramatic than I intended it to be but well, I hope you enjoy it eitherway. 
> 
> I want you to know that english is not my first language so I apologize if you find any typos or mistakes, my fics are only proofread by me so I'm sorry.
> 
> Anyways, I hope you enjoy my stories and any type of feedback is welcome!

Wednesday had been a relaxed day for both of the boys. A nice, laid back and casual chat through the windows as the sun shone brightly after Monday's and Tuesday's bad weather. There had been many moments where Phil could really feel how this first random encounter was turning into a proper friendship (and maybe something more but he wasn't really sure) and it seemed like Dan enjoyed his company, even though it was through a window, but he was happy either way.

Phil was happily cooking on Thrusday, humming as the news coming through a radio informed him about the interesting news that happened or where about to happen in the next few days, filling in the silence of his flat.

One of their conversation topics yesterday was how Dan was due to do some interviews during this week, since baseball season was starting soon and he was propbably the most adequate to talk about his team. The brown eyed had mentioned that he had a radio interview today at the local radio station, so that's why Phil had his radio almost at full volume.

 _''Let's go with sports now!''_ said a chirpy voice, Phil's interest suddenly perking up. Maybe they would talk about Rocky Planets now...

The commentators started talking about footbal, basketball, not really the kind of sports Phil was into but okay, he could bare with it.

He turned off the stove and suddenly the same chirpy voice that had spoken before reached Phil's ears _''and finally... baseball! Since this season is starting soon we invited a special guest star to talk about it today... Daniel Howell!''_

Phil instantly smiled. He had heard Dan speak many times on interviews before, but this time it felt different somehow. _''Hello England, hope you all are good''_ was the first thing Dan said, probably with that soft smile on his face.

What he mostly envied about Dan was that he was always sounded so confident, his voice never wavered and it was truly admirable. Media was scary sometimes.

They did an small introduction that was followed with a few questions about the Rocky Planets and involving his professional career, Dan's strong voice always present and clear, not doubting an answer.

Oh, apparently their regular practices were starting again on Monday morning... Did that mean he wouldn't see Dan for a long time? Suddenly a glumy feeling settled on Phil's shoulders but before he could think more about that another question was being asked.

 _''I'm sorry for this comment, but even though we had you here last year you didn't look this happy, anything you want to tell us? Any reason why you have that bright expression on your face?''_ one of the commentators asked him. Phil could feel his embarrassement on Dan's behalf. Some interviewers could be kind of rude sometimes.

 _''Um... n-no...? No-not really. No. Um no.''_ Phil's breath hitched at the baseball player's response that was finished by an awkward cough. Dan never hesitated or stuttered. Maybe it was because the question had been kind of inaproppiate and sudden, but either way he always managed to think it through.

 _''C'mon, do you think we believe that? I'm sure there must be something!''_ the same commentator as before continued. Phil really wanted to burst into the radio station building and grab Dan to take him out from that horrible interviewer.

He could sense Dan's hesitation again, like he really didn't want to respond another 'no', because he was sure the media would keep asking until he answered something coherent.

 _''Well I... I recently moved and... and maybe that's why. New place, new settings, new people... It can make a difference in your life.''_ Dan's voice grew confident again by the start of the second sentence. 'Yes, you go, Dan!' Phil cheered inside his head only to stop celebrating when he realized what Dan had said.

New people? Was he talking also about Phil or only about the neighbours of his building? No wait. Dan had told Phil he didn't know any of his neighbours of the building yet. Till yesterday Dan only knew Phil, uness he had meet someone new in the span of an afternoon but he couldn't deny he was one of the 'new people' in his life even if he wanted it or not.

Had Phil really made a difference in Dan's life? He kind of entered the baseball player's life without previous warning and instantly formed a bond with him. A difference was there for sure. It couldn't be that deep, right?

Another voice was already filling his brain, this time talking about another section of the radio show, saying a quick goodbye to Dan, telling him that they hoped to see him soon.

Phil sighed and decided to switch off the radio, taking out his already cold lunch from the stove only to have to re-heat it again so it could be edible...

'At least tomorrow is Friday,' the blue eyed thought optimistically, a small smile appearing, trying not to think much about the fact that it was probably his last day seeing Dan.

_______________

When Dan woke up on Friday morning he was still thinking about yesterday's radio interview. He was often the one of his team to do most interviews since he was a pretty articulate person, the kind of person who always had a proper response for everything. At least till yesterday, of course.

He had been invited to talk about the baseball season that was starting soon, practices, games and more practices in the few weeks ahead... And he had talked a lot about that. About the Rocky Planets and his coach, about new play techinques and more when suddenly the inteviewers decided to ask him personal questions.

He was a celebrity. He was pretty used to being asked personal questions but yesterday was different. They had mentioned how Dan looked happier and if there was a reason behind it and his brain froze. He had never been questioned if he was happy before, they just assumed he was. He was a famous baseball player with an outstanding career, what more could he ask for?

But yesterday apparently he seemed different... more cheerful he would say.

Dan at first he didn't know what to answer, that's why probably looked as dumb as ever trying to give a proper response but nothing coherent came out.

At first, when the interviewer gave him a second chance to gave another answer to their audience he hesitated, but decided to go for it. They didn't need to know the whole truth so...

He recalled again what he had mentioned as to reason his said happiness. 'New places, new settings, new people...'

''New people... New people, my ass.'' Dan scoffed loudly to himself. The only reason he had said 'people' was for them not to prey more into his life, because the only new ''people'' he knew was Phil.

A small part of him hoped that the blue eyed asked him today about the ''new people'' comment so he could come clear with him. It had been only about him. He was the only one who had made a difference in his life. Nothing or no one else. Just Phil.

Phil.

Only Phil.

Only Phil who had the bluest eyes he had seen that changed colour the way the sun was shining that day.

Only Phil who laughed with his tongue between his teeth when Dan told him a joke or funny story.

Only Phil who he was developing feelings for and was probably the main reason why he had a dopey smile every now and then everytime he remembered one of their conversations through the windows.

Only Phil, who was already waving at him through the further side of the metal platform so Dan couldn't really read his expression, trying to see his face better as they both walked towards the other.

Dan waved back and smiled as he moved towards the coffee table where his notebook and sharpie were, sitting down on one of the armchairs and put his tea on the table as he watched the other man scribble down fast, lifting his notebook quickly as he hid a bit of his face.

 _'I heard your interview yesterday, I really like the way you talk, you are really clever'_ Dan frowned at his movements but as soon as he read the first message Phil had written for him, his smile got bigger, forgetting for a moment the odd expression the black haired had on his face.

Dan didn't think it had been his best interview, had he seemed dumb by the end? but Phil though he had been clever...

He was about to response when he noticed Phil had lowered the notebook and there was no smile visible like the ones he had seen the days before. The blue eyes adverted his gaze as if looking at Dan was harmful... The glum expression on Phil's face was clear, even though the window cleaner was trying his best to hide it, Dan could read him as an open book. Phil wasn't really good at hiding.

He was determined to know what caused Phil to have such a downcast look on him. Dan didn't like seeing Phil so sad.

 _'Is something wrong? You can tell me if you want to. I'm here.'_ he rapidly wrote down, letting him know that if he needed someone to talk to he was here. Dan could help him with whatever was troubling his mind.

He saw how Phil was about to shook his head no, but in the last moment he seemed to change his mind and start writing again. _'You start practice on Monday morning again, right? Does that mean this is our last day?'_

The brown eyed's mouth opened in surprise, expression falling. Shit. He had totally forgotten about that.

As soon as Dan read the message he ran to the window, shaking his head left and right fast. ''No, no, no'' he said to the empty room, forgetting Phil couldn't heard him and he put his free hand against the window in defeat.

No. This couldn't be their last conversation. He didn't want to. Dan was so used to having Phil in his life it couldn't stop now. Just the thought of not seeing Phil anymore hurt him in the chest...

Phil sent him a small smile, as a sign that he had understood what he was saying. _'What do we do now then?'_   the blue eyed wrote, trying to balance his notebook with one hand as he put his other parallel to Dan's, as if he craved his touch.

Dan tried to think about a solution. They could meet in person. They could. But Dan was pretty much in the spotlight now thanks to the new baseball season and if they spotted him with Phil it could end badly for both. The preassure of the media was too much, and if Phil couldn't handle it Dan wouldn't forgive himself.

The next best idea he could think of was the only thing his agent told him not to do: give his personal phone number. They could talk and no one needed to know. They could even phone each other and maybe he could finally hear the northen accent Phil said he had.

With a quick look of 'sorry', Dan drew the hand that was on the window back to his note pad where he quickly wrote a sentence _'Wanna exchange phone numbers?'_

 _'Are you even allowed to do that?'_ was Phil's response. A frown visible on his face.

Dan shook his head no and started writing again, _'No, but you will be the only exception. I already trust you enough to know that you will not share it.'_ He kind of hated the fact that he had to that point out, but he couldn't have it any other way.

Before Phil could even write back he scribbled another message, trying to lighten the mood _'You are not getting rid of me that easily, Phil Lester'_

That made Phil laugh and he could see that this time was a real smile, the kind of the tongue between the teeth, not even trying to hide it as he wrote his answer _'Prepare to receive pictures of random dogs at random hours, are you sure you still want to give me your phone number?_

Dan smiled and laughed back, writing down his number as a response, as waited for Phil to save it into his phone.

A minute passed before Dan heard his phone's sound at the arrival of a new message. Picking it from the table he opened the notification only to find what Phil had texted him.

_'Glad you still want to keep talking to me. I need to finish my shift now but text you back when I'm home'_

Dan chuckled and looked back at Phil, who was still typing another message. He looked back down only when his phone chimed in again.

_'Don't miss me too much, okay?'_

Dan sighed when he saw the text. He always missed Phil. It made his days better and the thought of having Phil to a call or text away was relieving. Dan had to admit he was a bit clingy and with Phil he was feeling that even more...

_'Don't miss me too much either.'_

He lifted his gaze to focus on Phil's blue eyes who had a glint of happiness in them while he was waving at him goodbye.

Dan waved back, his smile fading at the same time Phil went back to the street on his platform.

At least he got a few dog pictures later that lifted his mood up.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! You can leave a comment and/or kudos if you want to. It would mean a lot <3
> 
> You can follow me on Tumblr at irphanfic.tumblr.com to know the updates of my phanfics or if you want to prompt me anything. See you next time! :D


	5. Texts and Cafés

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan goes to practice and ends up badly. They miss each other. Martyn just wants to help Phil.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! So this has been a very busy week for me but I hope you like the new update! 
> 
> I want you to know that english is not my first language so I apologize if you find any typos or mistakes, my fics are only proofread by me so I'm sorry.
> 
> Anyways, I hope you enjoy my stories and any type of feedback is welcome!
> 
> Warning: mention/description of panic attack

Two weeks. They had been texting each other for two full weeks non stop and Dan had never felt so attached to any person this way. Not even his team mates or even his own family.

Phil was such an easy person to talk to. He didn't know why, but both could talk for hours and not get tired of it. Maybe because he had never had this kind of strange connection and compatibility with someone before.

Even when Phil texted some random animal fact at 3pm on a Thursday or sent him a weird internet meme that he had seen on Twitter, Dan couldn't be happier. Even his team mates had noticed he was feeling more cheerful, and by the few hints he had told them, they could guess it had to do something with a crush.

A smile creeped into his face as he recalled the first time he had heard Phil's northen voice through the speaker. It had totally been an accident, as Phil explained later in their call, but somehow he had managed to dial Dan by sitting unintentionally on his phone, a fact that keep them both laughing for almost twenty minutes.

He didn't waste time complimenting Phil's accent after their laughs died down just to hear a light chuckle from the other line that, even though Dan couldn't see, he was sure Phil had blushed and smiled shyly at the same time.

How he missed that smile and those eyes... Just having conversations with the blue eyed wasn't enough for Dan. He wanted to talk to him face-to-face, stare at his expressions as he told him childhood stories he had been wanting to hear.

He needed to see Phil. And soon.

But what if Phil didn't want to meet him in person because of his fame? Maybe he was scared of the media or even Dan... What if he dissapointed Phil or bothered him by his presence?

''Howell! Stop daydreaming! It's your turn now!'' His coach's voice startled him from his thoughts, looking apologetically at him and walking embarrassedly to the field.

Dan tried to concentrate, but thoughts of Phil kept coming at the same speed of the balls that were being thrown at him. He tried to get all the battings and throws right, but it was not working. He was missing almost every single one and coach kept shouting at him, which was not helping at all on his effort to be focused. He could feel his team mates gaze on him, as if they were judging him for not being professional enough.

His breath started to quicken, short and shaky puffs of air were making his body tremble badly. Dan could feel it, his throat was closing and wanted to scream for help but no sound was coming out... Was he having a panic attack ? He hadn't had one in years and it was happening to him now in the middle of practice? It was a nightmare. He wanted to get out of here as fast, but his feet nor legs were responding.

His baseball bat fell down on the sandy area, hitting his toes in the process but he couldn't even feel the pain. ''No, no, no, c'mon, calm down'' he whispered to himself in a quivering voice, but it did nothing. Also, hearing the murmurs of his team mates wasn't helping either...

Suddenly a voice was softly calling him. Dan recognized it, even though it wasn't really clear he knew it belonged to Eric, who was in front of him, holding him by the shoulders, ''Hey, Dan, I'll take you to the lockers, okay?''

Dan just nodded and tried to focus on what Eric was telling coach, but his gaze and ears were not cooperating, making him hear and see all blurry.

He could feel Eric's hand on his bicep, dragging him out of the field, reaching the locker room and sitting him down on one of the benches, handing him a paper bag he had somehow found around there so Dan could even his breathing that was already coming down to normal.

''Better?'' Eric asked him once he had managed to calm down, sitting down on the same bench but keeping a safe distance between both.

''Yeah... '' Dan coughed a bit, sipping a bit of water from a bottle his team mate handed him, instantly feeling the coolness down his throat, feeling a bit better, ''thank you for taking me here, I... I... I don't know what happened, really. But, thank you.''

They both knew it was a lie, but Dan didn't have enough energy to explain. He wanted to go home and curl up on his sheets for at least three days...

''Don't worry, I understand.'' Eric stood up, offereing him a small smile with sympathy before walking to his locker and picking up his things, ''c'mon, I told coach I would take you home for today, you are in no state to continue. You need time to relax, not think much''

Dan slowly moved his head up and down even though Eric couldn't see him, but also stood up to pick up his things.

Eric was right, he just needed to relax and not think. Could he do that?

_______________

Once Dan reached his flat he dove himself on his wide bed, face first on the pillows and slowly drifted off to sleep, trying to regain the energy he had consumed.

He woke up a few hours later, disoriented, rolling around a few times on his sheets before getting out of bed and having a quick shower, changing into his comfy pyjamas and grabbing something to eat, feeling a bit better already.

Dan walked back to his bedroom, picking up his phone from his discarded bag at the feet of his bed and lying back on his duvet, staring at the ceiling for a few minutes distractedly, just staring at nothing.

Only the vibration of his phone shook him from his blank thoughts, a text notification from Phil coming in, a small smile already showing on his face.

He lifted his phone up so he could read the text, putting the gadget in a risky place since it could fall on his face anytime, but Dan quickly forgot about that fact, opening the long conversation thread he already had formed with Phil.

_'Did you know that a koala pregnancy only lasts 35 days and when the joey is born it's blind, hairless and is about 2 cm long?'_

That silly fact about the cuddly marsupials was enough for Dan to have a grin on his face. Phil was for sure the only person who knew so many random facts.

 _'wow. Now I wonder what a hairless koala looks like'_ Dan answered, already knowing that Phil had gone on a quick quest to Google Images to show him.

 _'It's so weird, omg. It looks cute, but weird anyway.'_ was Phil's next text, a photo of a small koala folded in some blankets but no hair around.

Dan chuckled, it was strange for sure. Follwing the topic of pictures, it had been a while since Phil had sent him fluffy puppy pictures, he could have some sweet dog pics after the day he had had.

 _'I miss your dog pictures :('_ Dan typed, but before he could send it he felt a sneeze coming through and before he could stop it, his phone had slipped from his hand and landed on his face, hitting his nose hard, not being able to catch it on time.

''Ouch! It hurts!'' Dan said loudly, gently touching his nose with his fingers and checking it hadn't been that bad. It wasn't bleeding so it was a good sign.

Dan put some pillows against his headboard and sat straight, not risking anymore having his phone up by his face. By the way, where was his phone?

He spotted it screen down by his left, picking it up and re-reading what he had sent, expecting to find a dog photo as a response.

''No. No, no, no,'' Dan repeated, lifting his messy curls from his forehead as a nervous gesture, ''this cannot be happening.''

In the middle of all the sneezing he had manage to erase half of his message when the phone slipped from his hands, and instead of a _'I miss your dog pictures :('_ he had managed to send a contextless _'I miss you'._

Dan couldn't believe it. He was going to scare Phil for sure... Even though he really missed him he hadn't planned to send him this kind of message anytime soon!

He was going to type another text, explaining what had really happened when a new message from Phil popped up.

_'I miss you too. It has been a while since we have seen each other'_

'What!? He missed him too!?' Dan jumped at the message, seriously freaking out. He didn't expect that text from Phil, not at all. He couldn't have guessed in a million years that Phil was also missing him. He wasn't used to people missing him, wanting to see him.

Dan smiled softly at that. They missed each other and even though it had been on accident, he was glad they had both managed to confess something they wouldn't had admited.

Once Dan had somehow calmed down, he was ready to text back. Should he ask Phil to meet him in person? Was he ready after all that happened at practice? He had to deal with it sometime and even if he liked it or not, Dan had to face Phil in person sometime, and if Phil was disappointed that's something he would have to accept.

 _'Wanna meet sometime this week?'_ Dan left his phone fast as soon as it delivered, as if it burned and was afraid to know Phil's response, which came through a few seconds later.

_'If you want to, sure! I have the perfect place. Are you free on Saturday?'_

_______________

Saturday arrived and Phil was waiting for Dan the cozy vintage-y café that he found once while strolling mindlessly one cold November day, nursing a capuccino as he wrote the next lines of a horror story he had been wanting to put into paper. Phil had had this place in mind when Dan messaged him about meeting each other. The delicious warm drinks mixed with the homely and private maroon coloured booths were really a win-win.

He was kind of surprised when Dan told him he missed him, but Phil didn't question it. He didn't felt brave enough to admit it and when he saw the message he saw the perfect opportunity to express his feelings.

Phil was a bit nervous, he had to admit. He was really meeting Daniel Howell for real now, but they had been talking for so long that it felt they had been long lost friends by now, but that didn't erase the fact that Dna was a famous baseball player... 'It is just Dan. The one that loves Mario Kart and anime the same amount as you Dan.' Phil thought, but it wasn't really helping.

Shaking that though out of his head Phil looked at his phone to check the time and saw it was a few minutes past five, meaning Dan should be here soon.

After grabbing another sip of his coffee, the blue eyed began writing again, slowly developing the story he had in mind, getting so lost in the words that he didn't even manage to notice the shadow that appeared next to him till he heard a cough followed by a shaky voice?

''Excuse me, is this seat taken?''

Phil looked up at the voice and noticed a nervous smiley Dan looking at him as he put down his cup of coffee on the table, looking as if he wanted to hug him next but didn't know how to do so, opting to fidget with his fingers, trying to restrain himself from reaching out.

'Why does he seem so nervous? It's me who should be, not him. I'm just Phil!' was all the blue eyed thought, not really understanding why, but before he could think more about it his excitement won the battle against his worries and stood up from the booth, exclaiming a cheerful ''Dan! You are here!'' not too loudly so it wouldn't attract attention.

''Hi Phil,'' Dan greeted him properly, looking directly into his eyes ''I... I'm glad you agreed to meet me.''

''Of course, why wouldn't I?'' Phil questioned, cocking his head to the side a bit, ''I'm glad you agreed to meet me of all!''

Dan averted his gaze to his feet, shrugging his shoulders as if also hesitating to tell Phil what was the reason why he had said that. ''I don't know. Because I thought maybe you would feel pressured because of my fame or something...'' he muttered, his voice almost quiet but continued, ''I mean, I'm not that famous, but still, even though we have been talking a lot you might have another image of me that the media portrayed, so yeah, I might be disappointing... '' Dan rambled, finishing with a sigh.

''Oh,'' Phil let out, surprised. Dan though he might be bothered by his celebrity status, but no, Phil wouldn't believe anything he read or see on the tabloids. He had a pretty idolized image of Dan before he meet him, per se, but after all they had talked he couldn't even think about the possibility of not wanting to see him because of it. Dan was even more nice than he could have ever imagined, it would never let Phil down.

That's when he realized Dan might be more insecure than he let on. He was a person, he had emotions like everyone else, and Phil believed sometimes the media or fans didn't even care about Dan's feelings just because he was famous.

''Dan,'' Phil called him, waiting for the warm brown eyes to meet his, ''You could never disappoint me, not after meeting you for real.''

With that, Phil opened his arms, giving Dan the chance to back down if he didn't want a hug, but by the smile that appeared on Dan's face, he had made the right choice.

Both hugged for a few minutes, their chins resting on the other's shoulder, and Phil felt how Dan squeezed a bit, trying to bring him closer...

They separated, mirroring smiles on their faces as they sat down on the comfy booth, sides touching but looking at each other attentively as they started talking about mindless things, catching up on what they hadn't been able to text.

For hours, light hand touches and caresses where traded, just as pink cheeks and toothy grins.

Phil found out that afternoon that saying goodbye was hard, even if you knew you were going to see that person again.

_______________

''Phil, do you have any snacks left?'' Martyn asked from the doorway of Phil's lounge room, not getting much of a response since Phil was lying down on the couch, crazily texting someone on his phone, a dumb smile on his face.

''Phil, are you even listening to me?'' Martyn repeated, getting just silence as a response.

''Phil! Your ceiling is falling down!'' this time Martyn screamed, finally getting a reaction from Phil, who left his phone rapidly on the sofa and sat straight up.

''What!? What is falling down!?'' the younger Lester screamed back, sobering up as he saw Martyn laugh. ''It's not funny!'' Phil threw his brother a cushion, hitting him on the chest before he let him sit down next to him.

''You weren't listening and I had to catch your attention somehow! Your face, oh my God'' Martyn tried to calm down a bit, ''By the way, who were you texting that had you smiling down at your phone like that, uh?'' he elbowed Phil on the ribs, who squirmed a bit trying to get away from his brother.

Phil blushed a bit and denied messaging someone, but his brother didn't buy it and kept insisting, finally making Phil give up, ''I was texting Dan, okay? Stop it!''

''Wait,'' Martyn sobered up instantly, ''Dan as in Dan Howell? You have his phone number and text each other? Why didn't I know about this again!''

Phil shrugged, ''It never came up, I guess.''

''Still, is there anything else you haven't told me related to Dan?''

''Well... We talked, finally meet in person, had coffee and keep talking, that's all.'' Phil said as if it wasn't a big deal. He left out the fact that they hugged, he believed Martyn couldn't handle tat much info.

''You meet!? Are you telling me you meet in person!?'' his brother's offended tone made Phil chuckle. He really needed to speak to Martyn more.

Phil decided to tell him everything, from how they started texting till how they promised to see each other next week that Saturday at the café.

''I just... When we said goodbye, it totally felt like something more than two friend meeting, you know?'' Phil said, not really knowing how to explain.

''Like a date?'' Martyn's smile could be heard in his voice, not teasing, just happy that Phil was getting somewhere with Dan. Or at least, hoping too.

Phil nooded, ''Yeah, I mean, I knew it wasn't but, it still felt like one.'' A date. A date with Dan Howell. That would be a dream for him.

Martyn also nooded, acknowledging that same feeling he had had first with Cornelia a few years back.

''Ask him.''

''What!? I'm not gonna ask Dan freaking Howell on a date, are you out of your mind!?'' Phil said, completly rejecting the idea.

Martyn just stared at him, wanting Phil to think about the idea again.

''No. No, no, no, I'm not going to do it. I refuse.'' Phil said, shaking his head repeatedly. Just about he stopped denying, he saw the mischevious face his brother had on. ''What are yo...'' but before he could even finish, Martyn picked up his phone that had been lying between both all this time, rapidly typing something as he ran towards the front door, Phil by his heels, shouting and trying to grab his phone from his brother's hands.

''Thank me later brother'' was all Martyn said to Phil before he left the flat, tossing the phone back to his owners hands and closing the door right by Phil's nose.

Phil leaned against the wooden door and read what Martyn had sent to Dan.

_'Wanna go on a date with me?'_

Phil was going to kill Martyn next time. He was sure of it.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! You can leave a comment and/or kudos if you want to. It would mean a lot <3
> 
> You can follow me on Tumblr at irphanfic.tumblr.com to know the updates of my phanfics or if you want to prompt me anything. See you next time! :D


	6. Date?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan gets Phil's text. A confusing phone call. Doubts, fish facts and more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I might have been inspired by their Singapore trip for this chapter. It's a bit different since it's written only from Dan's POV. I tried to fit them both in this chapter, but it didn't seem right for this, so I hope you enjoy it anyway!
> 
> I want you to know that english is not my first language so I apologize if you find any typos or mistakes, my fics are only proofread by me so I'm sorry.
> 
> Anyways, I hope you enjoy my stories and any type of feedback is welcome!

One moment, he and Phil were texting like crazy and the other the blue eyed suddenly stopped, not giving a particular reason why. Dan guessed he got distracted and forgot that they were even talking, it had happened a few times before. Phil could get distracted by a fly on the wall to be honest.

Dan shrugged and started ironing a few t-shirts that had been on the dryer for two days already, keeping his phone close in his pants in case Phil texted back as he danced around to some indie rock songs.

Meeting Phil in person had been a very good decision in they friendship, at least Dan had the closure that Phil wanted to meet him, not caring about his fame or image, just wanting to be a close friend for him, who would understand and care for him. That hug Phil greeted him with was one of the first hugs Dan had gotten in a while, making him not want to leave those warm arms ever, have Phil as close as he could.

That might have been one of the nicest experiences he had. Getting to know Phil was another new level for him, he hadn't had the opportunity to know someone that well before. Dan was fascinated by him. How Phil told him about his uni years while studying his English degree and was trying to be an author, how he liked to spend his free time on the internet but also hanging out with his brother, how enthusiastic he was about his new houseplant... And more facts that he and Dan had already talked about in those first introductory messages, but this time in more detail, getting to know the other person better with no windows between them, admiring their face expression while they talked about it.

Dan still recalls saying goodbye at the café and how while walking back to his flat realized that it didn't feel like a normal meet up, it felt more like a date. The brown eyed sighed. Just because Phil had agreed meeting him didn't mean he would also agree on going on a date...

Also, yes, Dan and Phil had flirted a few times, and that day at the café even more. The soft touches of their hands every now and then and how Phil would blush and shush Dan each time the player would compliment him were signs that maybe asking Phil on a date wouldn't be such a bad idea, but was it too early to do so?

'Maybe I could do it after we already met a few more times...' the idea lingered in Dan's head.

A buzz from his phone startled him, rapidly reaching for it in the pockets of his trousers and checking if it was Phil texting him back.

Dan had to physically backtrack after reading the new message. _'Wanna go on a date with me?'_

Was Phil seriously asking him on a date!? Was he for real!? Dan beamed at the text. Something no one ever knew about him was that he had never been asked on a date before. Yeah, Dan Howell, famous baseball player had never been asked on a date.

In the few fake relationships he had had, they were all set-up dates, where he and his partner just had to act out in a dinner, or get spotted somewhere holding hands or sharing few kisses, nothing too complicated.

Since he became a famous baseball player he had never had a serious and real relationship, the last one was in high school, and even then he was the one to carry all the relationship's weight over his shoulders. His girlfriend at the time hadn't cared much about Dan to be honest, she was glad he was there for her, but she was never there for Dan...

Dan re-read the text a few times to check it was real. Phil wanted to take him on a date and Dan didn't even know where, but he was already excited.

_'I would love to, Phil.'_ Dan sent, quickly wanting to add another sentence but not managing to even touch the keyboard anymore since a call from Phil was coming through. 

''Hi,'' Dan answered timidly, the smile noticeable on his face as he felt his cheeks warming up.

''Hi Dan, I... I...'' He heard Phil's nervous voice at the other side but Dan didn't say anything, he waited till Phil was ready to fully complete his sentence, ''I'm sorry for the sudden message, I... My brother Martyn picked up my phone and texted you, sorry, really. But I...''

Dan's smile faded at the same time his heart dropped to his feet. So it had been Phil's brother's thing, it wasn't Phil himself who had sent the message. Probably Phil didn't want to take Dan on a date, who was he kidding?

''So, you don't want to take me on a date?'' Dan quietly asked, cutting off Phil's rambling, his voice breaking at the end. Stupid boy. Oh God, he felt the tears starting to create on his eyes, trying to sniffling quietly so Phil wouldn't notice he was that upset over all this. A lonely tear made his way down his cheek and Dan didn't even care to clean it away.

''Yes, of course!'' Phil exclaimed, leaving Dan to frown at the words. ''Please, let me explain. Don't want you to be upset'' He guessed he hadn't been so subtle at hiding his tears...

''Okay,'' was all Dan said before Phil started explaining.

''I guess I'm bad at explaining things correctly and didn't make the right choice of words. I was saying that my brother was the one who sent that message, but I'm glad he did it for me, otherwise I don't think I wouldn have been brave enough to do so...'' Dan heard Phil's exasperated sigh but didn't say anything and let him continue, sensing there was more into it.

''I'm a really shy person and I'm not used at having people so close to me as you are, and Martyn knew I wanted to ask you on a date but I couldn't find the guts to do so myself so he managed to steal my phone and send that. At the moment I wanted to kill him, but then I realized that my shyness would never let me do something like this. And I... I'm trying not to let it get in the way of things but it's hard... If I'm totally honest, it also scared me a little. You are Dan Howell, for God's sake! I still cannot believe we are friends!''

Dan could hear Phil's shaky breath, sounding anxious, but before he could say anything the blue eyed continued, ''I hate that I made you upset and I might seem like a coward right now for not having texted that myself and I'm probably I am but I promise you I really want to take you on a date if you still want to, of course.''

Dan listened attentively to what the blue eyed was saying, his voice wavering in a few sentences. Oh Phil. Dan hadn't let Phil explain all the story and he misundestood what he had wanted to say on the first place. Also, it was true that Phil was a very shy person, it couldn't be that easy for him to send this kind of messages, and less when he was asking Dan Howell of all people. He was famous and fame could be an intimidating thing from the outside...

''You are not a coward, Phil. I understand now.'' Dan calmly answered, sniffling away the rest of his tears, calming down at the fact that Phil really had wanted to ask him on a date. He was not upset anymore, not after having heard all that Phil had explained.

''Please, don't cry, I hate knowing this upset you so much...''

''No, I'm not upset anymore! I'm fine, really, Phil. It's okay,'' Dan reassured him, knowing Phil felt bad.

''Anyways, I'm still sorry, Dan.'' Phil finished, not knowing what more to say.

Dan decided to give both of them a break and changed the subject, ''so, when and where are you taking me on our date?'' the smile coming back to his face.

''You still want to go?'' he could heard Phil's surprised tone. Dan just hummed, giving him enough confirmation and continued talking in a more happier voice, ''It was going to be a secret, but I can give you a few hints if you want.''

''But I wanna know all, Phil!'' Dan whined like a child but he didn't care, he was excited about this and no one could stop him.

He heard Phil's ''nuh-nuh'' from the other line, knowing he wouldn't get more details, ''Wednesday evening, dress casually. I will pick you up.''

''But wha...'' Dan couldn't say much more before he heard Phil's chirpy voice saying goodbye and hanging up. That bastard.

Dan really wanted to be annoyed at him, and even though he tried, he couldn't stay mad for long.

_______________

Just as Phil promised he rang Dan's doorbell on Wednesday evening. Dan took a deep breath and hand-ironed his short sleeved shirt for the hundreth time in the span of an hour before opening the door, only to be greeted by a casual dressed but attractive looking Phil with pink cheeks, standing there with a single white lily on his hands.

''Hi.'' they both said at the same time, followed by a giggle.

''This, for you.'' Phil handed Dan the flower, which he gently picked up. ''Take it as an apology for my confused phone call. I'm still sorry for that, really.''

''It's beautiful'' he managed to say, softly touching the petals as if he didn't believe it was real. ''thank you, Phil, but don't apologize, okay? All is good now. '' Dan said, looking into Phil's blue eyes and smiling widely, smile which the blue eyed mirrored. The date hadn't even started and it was already going great.

''I'll put it in water, just a minute, okay?'' Phil nodded and Dan quickly headed back inside.

'This is such a nice detail, no one has ever given me flowers before.' was all Dan could think about as he put the flower in a vase, picking up his keys on the way back to Phil, closing the front door and heading to the elevator.

''So, you are not telling me any more details of where are we going, no?'' Dan questioned him on their way down to the building entrance. They had texted many times before the day arrived, but Phil wasn't giving Dan more details about their date, and honestly, Dan stopped trying after a few attempts, letting other conversation topics in.

''Um... let's see... we have to drive for a bit, if that's okay with you, but I'm still not telling you where.'' Phil mysteriously said, not giving Dan a chance to protest as they reached the street, heading to where Phil's midnight blue coloured old car was parked.

Phil graciously opened the passenger's door for Dan, who let out a short giggle as he thanked him, climbing into the car, putting his seatbelt on as Phil made the same on the driver's seat quickly starting the car and swiftly starting their drive.

''You can put the radio on if you want to,'' Phil said, giving Dan the chance to put on whatever music he wanted.

Dan fiddled with the buttons for a few minutes when a nice and familiar alternative sounding song made it to their ears, ''Is this okay?''

Phil hummed the best he could, keeping all his concentration on driving, just turning the volume up a bit up while both of them started singing the song loudly, happily filling the car with their not-so-bad singing, the loud notes turning into laughs since none of them could reach them.

Through the journey, a few other songs blasted through the speakers along with the voices of two happy boys, sometimes trying to perform them in the best way they could, improvised duets that kept them entertained till they arrived to their final location.

They got out of the car and Dan looked at their surrondings, finally recognizing where they were. ''The aquarium?'' he questioned, looking at Phil who was standing to his left, admiring the structure of the building. Dan hadn't been to the aquarium since he was a kid and he suddenly found himself excited to slowly walk around all the dim-lighted hallways seeing all the fishies swim around he and Phil.

''You don't like it?'' Phil looked at him with wide worried eyes, ''I can take us to another place, really I hadn't thought about this scenario I was...'' Phil quickly rambled, his tone worried and nervous of having failed on his choice of first date.

''Phil, no, I really like it!'' Dan cut him off, gently touching Phil's wrist to focus his attention back on him. ''I haven't been to the aquarium since I was a kid and I was a bit surprised you brought me here, but it is a nice surprise. I'm pretty thrilled to be honest,'' he finished with a smile, letting Phil know it was okay, that he had definitely made the right choice.

Phil exhaled and Dan felt him relax under his touch, ''So, are you sure you want to go in?''

''Yes, I'm sure, but you must know I might ignore you the whole time and just look at the fishes.'' Dan joked, but not so sure about it being a joke. He might be right and spend hours just looking at them...

Phil chuckled, slowly lacing their fingers together as another blush appeared on his cheeks, a gesture that Dan found adorable. ''I don't mind that you ignore me as long as I get to stare at you smiling at the fishies the whole time.''

Now it was Dan's turn to blush, not expecting Phil to have said that in a million years but glad that, (as he had mentioned before), trying not to let his shyness get in the way of these things.

They stared at the other's eyes for a moment before walking to the entrance of the aquarium. Dan was really looking forward to see the fishies.

_______________

Once they reached the reception Phil sent Dan and apologetic smile before untangling their hands so Phil could pay for the tickets. Dan instantly missed the contact, Phil's warm hands fit perfectly with his like no one else's had before.

''Here, look, they made the tickets look like fishes, see? a clownfish!'' Phil excitedly said, handing Dan his ticket, which he grabbed, admiring the nice design.

''It's pretty cool,'' Dan commented, smiling a bit before saving his ticket in the back pocket of his jeans, watching Phil do the same.

They started walking to the first hallway, but this time no one made an attempt to grab teh others hand. Dan wanted Phil's back so as they walked he brushed the back of his hand with Phil's, trying to get his attention. Phil's hand brushed his so lightly it seemed like a feather, but didn't make any attempt to grab it.

Dan tried again and the same happened... Maybe Phil didn't want to walk holding hands anymore? 'Well, better know now.' Dan thought before making a move and lacing their fingers together again, waiting for Phil's reaction, which was strange because he stopped walking.

''What? What's wrong?'' Dan asked, not understanding Phil's behaviour, who only looked down to their feet.

''Are you sure you want to walk around holding hands with me?'' Phil muttered, looking back into Dan's eyes, which instantly frowned at what his date was saying.

''Why wouldn't I be okay with that?'' Dan asked, not understanding anything.

''I don't know, maybe we get spotted and photographed... You are pretty famous Dan'' Phil said, shrugging.

Dan finally understood. He hadn't checked if Phil was okay with all the media thing. They wouldn't even get spotted but still, it was a point to consider and Dan was glad they where talking about it now to get it out of their way.

Their meet-up at the café had been private, with almost no people around and it wasn't even a date, but this? Holding hands in a public place like the aquarium? Maybe not so easy to handle.

''Phil,'' Dan said, taking a step so he could look into those blue eyes better, ''I would love to hold hands with you while we wander around the aquarium, but if you are not comfortable with all the media thing I will not force you into it. And, today the aquarium seems empty, I don't think we will get photographed, but if you are not sure we can just walk freely.''

Phil smiled shyly before answering, tightening his hand around Dan's a bit more, ''Thank you for considering, but I think we will have to see what happens. If we get spotted and get get featured somewhere, I will see how I can handle all of it.'' Phil looked back down to their joined hands and then up again into Dan's eyes, ''I didn't know if being spotted with me by your side would be good for your career, that's why I asked.''

Dan stared at him, a bit sad that Phil thought he wouldn't be the best for his fame. ''Phil Lester, listen to me,'' instantly catching Phil's attention, ''You, of all people, are the one that deserves to be by my side. You are not bad for my fame, you couldn't be bad for me. I don't care if I'm photographed with you holding hands, I want to be able to do that anytime anywhere.'' Dan's honesty could be heard in his speech. He wasn't joking, Phil was probably one of the few people that in such a short time had managed to get under Dan's skin. And for sure, in his heart.

The smile on Phil's face widened as so did his blush, nodding slightly ''Okay,''

Dan smiled back, ''So, now that we have established these necessary measures, can we start our date, Mr. Philip?''

The sound of Phil's laugh was like a nice song reaching his ears, ''Of course, Mr. Daniel. Let's go!'' Phil tugged an also laughing Dan along with him towards the start of the first hallway, running like children and dodging a few other visitors on their way; feeling happy and free.

_______________

As soon as they entered the first hallway Dan let out a surprised ''Oh'', not expecting to see such a marvelous scene in front of him. The dimmed lights were bright enough so ou could see all the details of the colourful and shiny fishes.

He couldn't remember that the aquarium looked from when he had visited it as a child, but seeing it now, such a mesmerizing scene in front of his eyes, he knew he needed to keep this in his memory forever.

Dan started walking slowly, admiring every sea creature he spotted swimming around. It was such a calm atmosphere just standing there, relaxing even. He really needed to come here more often.

Without noticing, he detached his hand from Phil's, too entranced by some yellow-tailed fish on one of the walls. He touched the glass with his hands, as if he wanted to reach and swim with them just for a minute.

A squealing noise from a child from the far side of the hallway startled Dan, turning his head rapidly to his right to see said child pressing his face against the glass, imitating the blowfish he was staring at. The scene made him chuckle. Kids were the most innocent creatures on Earth for sure.

''You okay?'' suddenly Phil's voice reached his ears, looking towards where the voice was coming from. Phil was standing behind him, leaning against the wall on the other side, smiling softly at him.

Oh. Right. They were on a date and Dan was completely ignoring him by staring at the fishes just like he had 'joked' before. Great move, Dan.

''Yeah, sorry... I...'' Dan apologized, walking closer to him and grabbing his hand again, tracing a few patterns on the back of his hand, ''I find this so calming I got distracted, sorry for ignoring you. But in my defense, I must say that I warned you before that this could happen!''

''It's okay,'' Phil said, lacing their fingers back together, the smile on his face not fading, ''Yeah, you advised me, that's true. I must also add that I got pretty distracted at staring at you so I think we are even.''

Dan swatted him in the arm, trying to hide his laugh, ''Shut up! C'mon, I see the sharks hallway is next.''

''Oh, sharks Nice! Let's go!'' Phil cheerfully said, swinging their joined hands around as they walked towards their next location.

_______________

The shark hallway was a bit intimidating in Dan's opinion. Seeing all the sharks swim above your head probably thinking a 5 metre fish could fall on you anytime wasn't the best thing to think about, but it was as impressive as it sounded.

They made ther way through it, Dan listening attentively to every shark related fact Phil could tell him, sometimes chuckling at how much the blue eyed knew about the sea creatures.

Dan was so focused on what Phil was speaking about that he hadn't even noticed they had entered another space, this time circle shaped and almost pitch black if it wasn't for the rainbow coloured lights that were illuminating the different jellyfish's tanks.

''Wow'' they both said into the empty room at the same time. Walking further into the room they stared at the many diverse jellyfishes that were swimming around without a care in the world, their tentacles and transparent bodies being painted by various colours after a few seconds.

Dan got dragged along by Phil towards one of the tanks to see an pretty rare type of jellyfish, with long and frilly tentacles, it's body wavy and floaty.

''It's beautiful'' Dan heard Phl whisper, looking away from the fish to look at Phil's profile, only lit up by the changing colours coming from the bottom of the tanks, sparkling eyes and sharp cheekbones standing out, making the contrast between his such pale skin and shadows even more prominent.

''Yeah, it is,'' Dan found himself whispering, still staring at the beautiful man next to him, still so focused on Phil's face taht he hadn't even noticed his head turning around to look back at Dan, who noticed how his cheeks aquired the now familiar pink tone.

Dan's eyes fixed on Phil's, blinking a few times before his eyes darted down, just to look at Phil's lips. Phil's pink and inviting lips...

God, how much Dan wanted to kiss him. In this almost dark room, surrounded by colourful jellyfishes, just the both of them alone...

Dan almost shook the idea out of his head, but as he lifted his gaze and saw Phil's eyes just making the same path Dan's had made just seconds before, it was the only clue Dan needed.

Dan took a small step closer to Phil, crooking his head a bit as if asking him for permission to kiss him, a sign that the blue eyed understood perfectly by nooding, closing his eyes just at the same time Dan touched their lips together, getting a tingly sensation at the feeling, as they could feel the electricity from the jellyfishes running around their veins.

It was a short touch of lips that lasted a few seconds that left Dan wanting for more. He had missed kissing someone, and even though this had been one of the gentlest kisses he had ever received, he wanted more. He wanted to kiss Phil more.

As if he had read his mind, Phil pressed their foreheads together, as if asking for another kiss that Dan gladly granted him, this time moving their lips in sync as hands made they way to other places, Dan moving his towards Phil's head, guiding the much longer kiss as he felt Phil's on his hips, caressing it with patternless movements over his shirt.

Slowly, Dan decided to deepen it, biting Phil's bottom lip, instantly gaining access to his mouth and tongue, feeling Phil moan a bit at the intrusion, making Dan just want to kiss him even more so he could hear that noise again.

Once oxygen was necessary they detached their mouths, Dan instantly smiling at Phil's swollen and red lips that were turning into another smile.

After a while of just smiles and stares, Dan laced their fingers again, pulling Phil towards the next hallway, ''C'mon, as much as I enjoyed kissing you I want to finish seeing all the fishies.''

''Let's go then, I heard the turtle space it's pretty cool.'' Phil commented, both of them diving into a baby-turtle theme conversation as the continued walking around, enjoying the other's company as much as the other rooms and hallways left.

Dan often made sure that the clownfish shaped ticket was still in his back pocket. He wanted to remember this date forever.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! You can leave a comment and/or kudos if you want to. It would mean a lot <3
> 
> You can follow me on Tumblr at irphanfic.tumblr.com to know the updates of my phanfics or if you want to prompt me anything. See you next time! :D


	7. Between Books

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts, more thoughts and bookshops.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! I don't know how I managed to finish this chapter this week but somehow I made it so I'm pretty happy! 
> 
> First, I wanna say thank you for all the sweet comments and kudos you are giving me, I might not respond to you all because sometimes I don't know what to say, but I'm really thankfull for those, they keep me going with this story <3 
> 
> Secondly, as always, I want you to know that english is not my first language so I apologize if you find any typos or mistakes, my fics are only proofread by me so I'm sorry.
> 
> Anyways, I hope you enjoy my stories and any type of feedback is welcome!

Phil was in heaven. He was sure he had died and gone to heaven the moment Dan and him kissed in the jellyfish's room. And then again in the manta ray hallway. And then back at Dan's doorstep, where he could tell both of them hadn't wanted to say goodbye.

He had enjoyed seeing Dan in such a carefree mood, smiling the whole time, his eyes sparkled everytime a new fish appeared in his line of vision; relaxed from his baseball player 'persona'. Even though Dan was pretty honest when it came to fame, Phil was sure there were some traits about his personality that he hadn't been able to show the world, and this was one of them.

Dan also opened up about his childhood, about how being a professional baseball player had never been in his future plans but he could have never asked for more, how he likes to go back home and see his family and dog but cannot as much as he likes to and a few other things Phil was sure very few people knew about Dan.

It had been such a perfect first date it was unbeliveable and Phil was glad he had managed to capture some of it. They both had taken pictures of sea creatures they'd spotted, but more than once Phil was drawn by Dan's presence, just looking at his backside or profile contrast with the blueness of the tanks that Phil couldn't resist and took a few pictures without Dan noticing. He even sent them to Dan after their date, hoping he wouldn't be mad at Phil for taking them without permission, but Dan was fine about them (even thanking him with some heart and fish emojis) that he even posted a picture on his Instagram, not giving any hints about his date but clearly making everyone see this 'new' side of him.

Speaking of photos, at first, he hadn't thought about the fact that their privacy could be invaded by photographers or press, just being happy next to Dan was enough. But what if being spotted with someone like Phil was bad for him? Dan had always dated other famous people and Phil was just... Phil. A window cleaner slash wannabe author. Either way, Dan reassured him that it was fine, as long as Phil was comfortable, of course.

Phil was glad Dan took into account his shyness. He wasn't sure what would happen if they appeared somewhere, would he be uncomfortable? Nervous? Upset? Happy? Phil wasn't sure yet, so once it happened, it happened, and that was it.

But Wednesday was gone now, letting Thursday in and Phil had to go back to his present life, where he had just finished watering the houseplants and was checking for new emails, refreshing the page every now and then to see if any of the editorials to which he had sent his manuscript wanted to publish his story. He had sent a few of his oldest stories some months before, but none of them were 'interesting enough' or it wasn't 'what they were looking for at the moment' for them, making Phil feel a bit frustrated at all his attempts.

A ping from his phone alerted him, picking it up from the table, seeing it was a new message from Dan and instantly smiling. _'Don't make any plans for this Friday. And yes, it's a date.'_

Phil could already feel his cheeks heating up. Why did he have to blush so easily!? Dan Howell asked him on a date and even though they had already been on one, Phil was squealing inside (and maybe on the outside too). A second date with Dan sounded great. More than great.

 _'Okay, what a shame I'll have to raincheck my plan of eating an unhealthy amount of Doritos on my couch while watching anime to go with you.'_ Phil joked, getting an immediate response from Dan, continuing their conversation till Dan had to leave, promising to text later.

Without Dan distracting him,, his mind started filling up with unanswered questions, 'Where will Dan take him? Would they go somewhere so public like the aquarium again? What if it rained? Was it safe to go outdoors tomorrow?'

Setting all those thoughts aside, Phil left his phone back on his deck, picking up his laptop and refeshing the email page once again, only to see its' inbox still empty.

He could only hope for a miracle now.

______________

''Why did I do that?'' Dan groaned loudly to himself just after exiting practice, remebering what had happened this morning.

As soon as he woke up he was still thinking about his and Phil's date yesterday. Dan didn't remember being so comfortable with a... crush? No. Friend? Surely after those kisses the friend barrier was already far away... What were they?

That question aside, he really wanted to go on another date with Phil, see if he could clear out their situation of where was their friendship? heading to, so he did. Sleepily, he picked up his phone and texted Phil, knowing that after lunch on Fridays he was pretty much free.

As soon as Phil sarcastically answered him, he continued their conversation, having to rush out of the door to arrive on time.

Now, hours later he had just remembered a little thing...

Where would he take Phil on the date? He hadn't thought about that detail.

'Great thinking, Dan. Ask him on a date and take him nowhere, you are great at this romance thing!' He really had to stop texting while his brain was still not properly functioning.

''What? What did you do? Wanna tell me?'' Eric asked back, startling Dan back to reality.

Dan jumped a bit and sighed, not having noticed Eric next to him. Maybe he should explain to Eric all this mess?

''I might have sent a text without much thought to someone this morning and now I'm pretty much in trouble?'' Dan questioned. He knew he would came up with some idea sometime, but Phil had agreed on going on a date tomorrow and he was pretty much freaking out.

''Okay... was that text that bad? Is that person going to block you or something?'' Eric questioned.

''No, it's just... I wanted to...'' Dan stopped mid-sentence. Did he really want to explain everything what was happening with Phil to Eric. Dan thought he deserved it after he had helped him with that panic attack... ''The story is a bit long, you have time?''

''Yeah, let's go. We can grab a coffee.'' Eric said, walking towards his car so they could drive to a nearby café.

That's how he and Eric found themselves deep in thought on a popular cafeteria on a sunny Thursday after practice.

''Okay, have you thought of anything while you were telling me about Phil, yet?'' Eric asked, taking a sip of his coffee.

''The only thing I know is that the aquarium is out for sure. We went there yesterday for our first date,'' Dan said, blushing a bit as he remembered how a great time he had had, ''and coffee too. As I told you we meet in person for the first time on a little café so I don't wanna repeat it.''

''From what you told me Phil likes books and wants to be a future author, right?'' Dan nooded along with what Eric was saying. ''What about a bookshop? They have just opened a new antique vintage-y bookshop just down this neighbourhood and they have many classic and new novels.''

Dan's eyes widened instantly. That was it! A bookshop! Phil would love that! And Dan liked to read too, not maybe as much as Phil but he was sure he would enjoy it anyway.

''Eric, I... Thank you so much, really. I don't know what I would do without your advice.'' Dan said, honesty clear in his voice.

''You're welcome, Howell. I mean, from all you have told me you really like this Phil guy, right?''

''You have no idea how much, Eric.'' Dan exhaled dramatically, briging one of his hand to his hair, messing his curls in the process. ''I want to take this further, you know, ask him to be my boyfriend, but I'm a bit scared to do so. What if I lose him as a friend? I never felt this connection with someone, I don't know how to explain it, but...''

It wasn't like the world would end if Phil said no to being his boyfriend, but it was the first time Dan felt something so strong for someone and he wanted to make it right this time.

''Even though I'm pretty sure that if you ask he will say yes, Dan, you need to start following what your heart says so, not what your mind tells you. Otherwise, you will be scared forever.'' Eric said to him, patting him on the back a few time before standing up from his uncomfortable chair, ''C'mon, think about it on the ride home, I will drive you.''

Dan just nooded, starting to think of any way that he could ask Phil to be his boyfriend.

______________

''Martyn? Can you talk?'' Phil asked as soon as he heard a greeting form the other line of the phone. Dan was picking him up for their date in around ten minutes, so he guessed he had a bit of time to calm his nerves by speaking to his brother. He had done that also on their first date and it kind of worked so, what if he tried again?

''Yeah, is something wrong?'' Martyn said, voice a bit cracky.

'Stupid phone reception.' Phil said to himself. The flat was so badly designed the signal could only be reached by almost on the street, that meant going almost outside and the best next option was the front door.

''No, but wait, I'm gonna go into the entrance hallway for better reception, I cannot hear you well.'' Phil rapidly walked to it, instantly noticing the difference, ''Okay, you can talk now.''

''You were the one calling me, you talk!''

''Right okay, um... I have another date with Dan and I'm a bit nervous. Distract me please.'' Phil quickly said, rushing the words so much that Martyn almost couldn't understand.

''Oh, another date already? Where are you two going? Are you going to kiss under the stars now? Or in front of a bridge?'' Martyn teased. Ugh, older brothers. Phil kind of regrets telling him all about the date.

''I don't know where he is taking me! And... and what if I don't like it? I mean, I...'' Phil panicked, trying to calm himself as he paced around the narrow entrance.

Phil noticed Martyn's silence on the other side, he was about to ask if something was wrong when he heard a much serious voice. ''Phil, don't worry about that, okay? The place doesn't matter, the only thing that should is that you are comfortable spending your time with Dan.'' He must have sensed Phil's nervousness before and was trying to be a nice older brother. And even if Phil didn't want to admt it, Martyn was right.

It was Dan's comapany that mattered. Phil would enjoy being with Dan everywhere, even if that meant spend 10 hours seein cars go by. He would be happy with Dan by his side.

''Thank you Martyn. You are right, but distract me a bit more please?'' Phil asked again. Even if he was a bit more relaxed he could still feel tickles in his stomach.

''Okay. Following the Dan subject, let's talk about baseball!''

Phil almost groaned but didn't. His brother couldn't leave the baseball subject for a minute since he ahd started talking to Dan, telling him to ask Dan about the Rocky Planets. A thing Phil had totally refused to do.

''The Rocky Planets are playing their first game of the season soon, tickets are almost out... you wanna try and get a few?'' Martyn always asked the same thing before every Rocky Planets game. Phil had tried a few times and couldn't go, the tickets were too expensive and he couldn't spend so much on a baseball game if he wanted to eat for like two weeks.

''Martyn, you know I cannot spend that much money. I would love to see the Rocky Planets play, you know that. See them play for once at the stadium since I have never been there, but I can't.'' Phil sighed. ''Maybe if I saved a bit of money I could, but I mostly use all my salary for everything.''

''Phil...'' but before Martyn continued Phil cut him off, continuing his speech.

''And I would love to go and maybe surprise Dan. If everything ends up going fine with him, of course! I'm not saying it won't go badly, but it could somehow... It's just our second date I'm sure I could mess it up before something even remotely serious...''

''PHIL!'' Martyn's loud voice startled him from his rambling.

''Yeah, sorry. I...'' but he couldn't speak much more since a loud doorbell sound echoed around all the walls of his flat.

''Dan is here.'' Phil said, mostly to himself, not even realizing Martyn was still on the phone.

''Well, have fun little brother! Speak to you tomorrow!''

''No, no! Martyn don't you dare hang up...'' but the line was already dead, leaving Phil still more nervous than before. 'Thanks for nothing, Martyn.'

Phil didn't want to keep Dan waiting, so he pocketed his phone, hand-ironined his red bomber jacket a bit, rearranged his glasses and cleared his throat before opening the door with a smile on his face, even though the freaking zoo he had in his stomach wasn't going away.

''Hi!'' he greeted Dan, who was sporting a soft smile behind a small bunch of flowers, making Phil smile instantly. ''Is that for me?'' Phil asked, pointing at the bunch.

''Of course, I though you could have a colourful spot around all your houseplant collection'' they both laughed at Dan's remark, ''It's more of a thank you for last time so yeah, here.'' Dan handed him the bunch, which Phil gladly picked up, sniffing it.

''I'll put this in water and we can go, okay?'' Phil said as soon as Dan nooded at him.

Phil quickly managed to arrange a vase with water and displayed the flowers in his kitchen table, proabably thinking of moving them to his bedroom when he came back from their date. He wanted to be reminded of this every single day he woke up, to be honest.

''Let's go, then!'' They both headed into the street as soon as Phil closed his front door, instantly brushing hands that Phil decide to lace together so they wouldn't get lost in the busy street.

They walked slowly, trying to make the most of their touch of hands, dodging the many pedestrians that got in their way not minding if anyone stared, lost in their little bubble as they talked and laughed about random topics.

''We are almost here,'' Dan suddenly said, pointing at the right turn that was ahead of them, ''I think you will like the place. I have to confess I didn't have this place in mind when I asked you on another date and I really hope you haven't been here yet but yeah... this is it.'' Dan finished as they turned to the right, ending up in an alleyway where Phil could spot a small bookshop.

The outside was painted a dark green, with big crooked brown letters hanging on a pannel, decorated with a few round bubble shaped farily lights. Right by its' entrance there were two wooden shelves, a woman stood by the left one, searching for some paper book or newspaper looking around the thousands in there.

It was truly Phil's dream place.

''You like it? I though that as you dream is to be an author, what a better place to be than a bookshop, uh?'' Dan's soft voice startled him, making Phil look at him with a surprised expression.

''I... I love it Dan. It seems so nice! Can we go in, please?'' Phil knew he was acting as a child wanting to go into a candy shop, but he guessed bookstores for him were the equivalent of one.

''Sure,'' was all Dan managed to say before Phil tugged him in, crossing the entrance and instantly gasping at the amout of shelves filled with old and new books, a strong smell reaching his nostrils, reminding Phil how much he loved books.

Phil walked through the narrow passages, drawing his fingers through the hard-covered books stopping at the horror/sci-fi section, his favourite genres of all, spotting a few novels he had been wanting to read for a while now.

''They have a few armchairs on the second floor of the bookshop if you just want to read,'' Dan said to him, seeing as he had picked a few books already in both hands.

Phil looked down at the books and back up at Dan, realizing he was on a date with him, not wanting to leave him here alone, it would be a rude thing to do so. ''No, I can read them other time, I don't wanna ignore you the whole time. If this is a date you should enjoy it too!'' Phil knew Dan liked to read, but he wasn't as passionate as Phil towards books. Maybe spending three hours reading on worn out armchair wasn't that appealing to Dan.

''What about we sit and you read to me? A few chapters at least. I really like hearing you talk, Phil.''

Phil, as it turned out, blushed at the comment but nooded, climbling up the small stairs that headed towards the dark blue velver armchairs scattered around with a few coffee tables also around.

It was surprisingly empty, just a few students around, making notes on their computers who didn't even lift their heads as Dan and Phil walked by the far end of the floor, seatting across eachother in the old cushioned chairs.

Phil didn't waste a minute and picked up a book from the pile he left on the small wooden coffee table in front of him, dangling his feet around the armrest of the armchair, resting his back againt the other, his soft and low voice instantly filling the little space Dan and him were in.

He got lost in the words that tumbled from his mouth carefully, creating different tones for the different characters that were starting to appear as he got further into the story, really liking how it was easily developing.

Phil continued reading, passing the pages with his fingers, loving the feeling of paper beneath his fingers and before he knew it he had almost reached the middle of the book, realizing they had maybe spent a few hours already there. Him reading and Dan listening.

''End of chapter 4.'' Phil read, instanly blushing again as he spotted Dan with his phone out, taking a picture of him as he looked like a big child. Phil was sure his glasses were almost falling from hin nose, his red bomber jacket hunched in a few spots due to the posture he was in as he moved his feet around the air back and forth, right and left, right and left.

''Dan!'' he almost shouted, laughing a bit and dragging the 'a' of his name, knowing he couldn't be mad at him after he had done the same thing at the aquarium.

''You look too damn cute, I couldn't resist!'' Dan said grinning.

Phil felt his face turning pink again, hiding behind the open book he had been reading not wanting Dan to see his rose coloured face so many times in a day. He hated how easily he blushed!

He heard Dan laughing softly from the other side, followed by a few steps meaning he had gotten up and was walking... ''Don't hide, please''

Phil noticed how Dan lowered the book form his face, picking it up and closing it, setting it down next to the others that were still in the pile as Dan sat in a free space of the coffee table, looking straight into Phil's eyes.

''I love it when you blush, Phil. Pink suits you, you know.'' Dan said, chuckling, making Phil blush more if that was even possible.

''I don't like it, it makes me look like a tomato all the time!'' Phil complained, crossing his arms against his chest and looking down to his lap.

''Come here, you.'' was all Phil heard Dan say as he felt his fingers on his chin, moving Phil's face closer to Dan's, kissing his pouty lips with a few pecks, the kisses gradually growing longer as they moved their lips in snyc slowly, enjoying the other's lips on theirs.

Phil sat up straighter, posing his hand on Dan's soft cheek and guiding his head, not deattaching his lips from Dan's as he bit his lower lip for a deeper kiss.

They were so caught up in their kiss they didn't even realize one of the workers had entered the floor, ushering everyone out as it was almost time to close, only separating from each other as they heard a few awkward sounding coughs coming from the other side of the floor.

''Excuse me gentelmen,'' Phil separated from Dan, both of them looking at eachother before turing thir gaze at the voice, ''we are closing soon, if you could leave this floor it would be great. Thank you.''

The worker disappeared quickly, almost running down the stairs, a bit embarrassed she had just witnessed the both of them kissing not so platonically.

''We should go,'' Dan said, his voice deep making Phil just want to kiss him again.

Phil nooded repeatedly, not trusting his voice after those kisses. As he had done a few hours before, he grabbed Dan's hand again and headed them both down the stairs. Once they had reached the main floor Dan stopped.

''What's wr...?'' Phil didn't manage to say anything more as Dan cut him off.

''Wait,'' Dan said, stopping and turning back up the stairs, coming back down with the book Phil had been reading to him.

Phil watched as Dan made it to the register, paying for the book and waving a quick goodbye to the still embarrassed worker that was pilling up a few books that had been scattered around.

Lacing their fingers once again, Dan lead them both outside the bookstore, taking a few steps in the direction they came from.

''I'm glad you enjoyed the first chapters of book, it's really good.'' Phil spoke as soon as they exited the alleyway, ''I had been waiting to read it for a while now, I think you will get a better experience now that you can read it for yourself.'' Phil said, pointing at the novel.

''No, I bought it for you.'' Dan stopped in the middle of the street, putting himself in front of Phil so he could look at him, ''Yeah, I enjoyed it, you voice is relaxing and you know how to involve someone in a story but... I liked more the way your eyes lit up everytime you started a new page, how you manage to appreciate every inked word. You had the same expression as me when people tell me that you can see in my eyes that I love playing baseball, and that's true and I want to see it many times more, with this book or with every other.''

Phil didn't know what to say, he was completely speechleess. Dan had practically confessed he wanted to keep meeting Phil and enjoy his company as much as he could. ''Dan... thank you. I don't know what...''

''There is no need. Here, take it,'' Dan handed Phil the novel, who brought it to his chest, clutching it tightly as it was going to escape from his hands, ''that way you can still read it to me but in a more comfortable seat. Promise?''

Phil smiled widely at him and nooded. He would love to keep reading books to Dan even if he had to seat on a chair made of spikes, he didn't care.

''Promise.''

Only a few more words were exchanged while they walked back to Phil's flat, the sunset painting the path in orange and red tones, guiding them through the few people still left on the street, finally reaching their destination and managing to steal a few goodbye kisses before the night settled in.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For this chapter I was inspired by the Shakespeare and Company bookshop that is in Paris. (Check it on Google, it's cool) I was there for a semester and I didn't know that it was there and I found out when I came back to Spain so yeah, I wanna go back and visit so bad!


	8. Only A Week

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Secret projects and videogame dates.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, I'm back! Yes, it took me a bot longer to update but I've been struggling with this chapter more than I expected because I had another ide in mind first but my mind went crazy and it took me another week to finish this one. 
> 
> hope you enjoy it and as always, any kudos/feedback/comment is welcome!

Dan woke up to his phone ringing on Saturday morning. His agent Estelle wanted him to come over to her office to talk to him about 'some secret project' that she had some information about.

''Why so early?'' he had asked over the phone, but Estelle just sushed him and told him to get ready.

So, still sleepy and with only a coffee on his body he took a cab and headed to her office, yawning as he knocked on the dark brown wooden door.

''C'mon in!'' Dan heard Estelle shout from inside of her office.

Dan opened the door and walked inside, finding a suit claded Estelle already standing up from her chair to envelope him into a big hug, ''Dan! It's so nice to see you!''

Dan hugged her back, ''Yeah, it has been a while, hasn't it?''

He felt Estelle nod against his shoulder before separating their bodies and walking back to her office chair, indicating Dan to sit in the one in front of her, a glass table being the only thing between the two of them.

After asking the informal 'how are you's', Estelle went straight to the point. ''Look Dan, I received a new email from the sport clothing brand we worked with a year ago. As you know, you being the face of their last clothing range was absolutely marvelous. Anyways, they plan on launching their new campaign soon and they want an immediate response since they had talked with another player but he turned the offer down last minute and they were planning to strat all of it next Wednesday so yeah, really last minute, I know.'' Estelle rolled her eyes but continued, ''The new baseball season is about to start but you have handled the promo stuff and games other years so it should be okay.''

Estelle handed Dan a few papers so he could see what kind of clothes he would be wearing and more stuff he didn't really understand about budgets, promo shoots and more along with the contract of this campaign.

Dan really had enjoyed working with this brand before and it had been a while since he had done it. This could be another good opportunity for him. ''I really like how it sounds...'' Dan said pensive, still trying to understand the papers Estelle had given him.

''Apparently, you will be modeling with Claire Vickard, the tennis player, and they want to take you both to Ireland for a few landscape shoots, nothing too difficult, but you will have to stay there for a week. I've already talked to your coach and said it's fine, you are doing great at practice so...''

Dan listened attentively, picking up every detail Estelle was saying. Wait, a week in Ireland without seeing Phil? It shouldn't be that hard, right?

''So, are you interested? It is secret till the campaign is revealed so you cannot tell anyone, okay? If someone know they could ruin you, you know that, right?'' Estelle asked, looking at Dan with her big eyes as he nodded in understanding. You wouldn't like to mess up with the contracts, oh no.

''I think it looks great, it's a good deal and you have already worked with them, you can think about it a bit more but I advise you that we don't have much time,'' she said.

''No, I think I'm ready to sign the contract,'' Dan said, trying not think much about what it would suppose not to see Phil in those days, ''as you said, I already know them, so it shouldn't be really different.''

Estelle handed him a black pen and Dan started scribbling his signature in the bottom of almost every page, giving the stack of papers back to his agent once he was done.

''Perfect! I'll send the papers later and I will call to ask about the travelli...'' but Estelle's sentence was cut off by Dan's phone loud and repetitive chiming, indicating someone had sent him a few messages.

''Wait,'' Dan said, taking out his phone and instantly smiling as he read Phil's name on the screen. Without reading the messages, he quickly turned the phone on silent and pocketed it back in his trousers, ''sorry for that Estelle, continue please.''

Estelle's face expression changed form serious to soft, making Dan frown, ''What?''

''Who has you smiling like that?'' she said, as if he had noticed Dan's wide smile.

''Wha- what smile? What are you on about?'' Dan tried to dismiss it, but knowing she wouldn't buy it. It was Estelle, for God's sake.

''That smile!'' she pointed at his mouth, ''Your dimples don't show for anyone! So tell me, who has the powers to make you grin at your phone, uh?''

Dan groaned. There was no way he was getting out of this, right? ''Okay, his name is Phil. He is the window cleaner of my new building and we started talking by writing messages to each other on papers, you happy now?''

''Tell me more, c'mon Dan! How is he like? Have you meet each other without a big ass window in between? Tell me!'' Estelle almost whined, dragging the last 'e' of 'me' for emphasis.

''Fine, I will.''

So Dan spent all Saturday morning at Estelle's office talking about him and Phil. How nervous he was of meeting him that first time, how the blue eyed asked him on a date first, their last trip to the bookstore, even showing Estelle the few pictures he had taken so she could see with her own eyes how 'attractive and adorable' Phil was, his smile getting somehow bigger at each detail he could remember about Phil.

''You really like him, don't you?'' Estelle asked once Dan had managed to tell everything.

''I really do, Estelle. I really do.''

______________

Phil was waiting for Dan to come to his flat so he was franatically tidying his living room.

He had been writing, well, trying to, since he hadn't gotten any responses from the publishing houses yet so he wanted to keep writing something else in case his last story didn't work, but his brain wasn't cooperating. Phil could swear he had spent around two hours staring at the blinking cursor on the document, as if it was moking him for not writing. Why was so hard to write something!?

In all his groaning he texted Dan, asking him if they could do something today. Apparently Dan had been on a meeting with his agent all morning, asking if it was okay to show up now, to which Phil answered it was okay, whatever to distracting form his responsibility of writing.

Phil had been wanting to go outside, but since it was pouring down, he invited Dan over to play videogames in some of the consoles Martyn had lend him a few years ago, not realizing his flat was kind of a mess.

He had just managed to arrange a few cushions on the sofa when he heard the doorbell, meaning Dan was here.

''Hi'' Phil greeted him as soon as he opened the door, breath hitching at the sight of Dan just standing there with his messy and somehow dry curls atop of his head, a maroon jumper with the sleeves rolled up his toned arms that he had combined with black ripped skinny jeans, letting Phil see a bit of his thighs.

Those ripped jeans were making Phil have some thoughts he prefered not to share.

Dan greeted him back and steped inside Phil's flat, surprisedly pecking Phil's cheek, which instantly turned pink as if he had some magical powers to make the blue eyed blush each time he touched him.

''Thanks for letting me come over this last minute, it was so sudden so I hope I'm a good distraction for writing.'' Dan said, chuckling and showing Phil a small smile.

''Nah, it's okay, I needed to detach myself from my laptop, otherwise I will end up with the keys glued to my fingerprints'' Phil said, making both of them laugh at his remark.

''So, which game you wanna play? I have a few...''' Phil started listing the videogames he had as he led Dan to his living room, where he had already put the consoles out and a few snacks on the table.

''What about I race you in Mario Kart? I'm gonna destroy you! Best of three?'' Dan said mischeviously, sending a smirk at Phil.

Oh, so it was a competition then, uh? If Dan wanted to play, let's play. ''And what do I get when I win?'' Phil said, copying Dan's smirk.

''So confident, Lester. I will think about what I want when I win.'' Dan said, sitting down and picking one of the controllers.

Phil hummed in agreement and also sat down next to Dan, their thighs grazing as Phil picked up the controller that was left and starting the game, ''Bring it, Howell. You are going down!''

Phil suddenly felt Dan's gaze on him, making him a bit nervous, ''What?'' Phil said, turning his body a bit to face the brown eyed, who was biting his lower lip as his eyes travelled up and down Phil's body.

''Believe me Phil, I would love to go down... in more ways that you can imagine,'' Dan said in a low voice. Phil flushed deep red but didn't say anything. He wanted nothing more than forget the videogame and jump Dan just right in his sofa but no, he was determined to win this and the 'lame' flirting from Dan wasn't going to get him to lose. Oh no. No way.

Phil pressed play and both customized their characters, bickering about 'how boring and bad' car choices the other made, playing rock-paper-scissors to decide which one got to choose the traks they would be racing.

They kept bumping each other's shoulders and elbows from time to time, losing their balance for a second, enough to send the other's cars few places behind, hearing a few swear words from Dan and Phil letting out a few child-like screams everytime that happened.

It was the last race and they were even. As Phil had won the first race and Dan the second, this last one would decide who was the ultimate Mario Kart winner. Oh, and Phil was so sure it was going to be him.

''You ready to get destroyed?'' Phil said, selecting the last track they would be racing.

''Ha! You wish! C'mon, press play, I cannot wait to win this already.'' Dan remarked, rearranging his position on the sofa pressing his body even more closer to Phil's.

He pressed play but the strong and nice smell from Dan's cologne was making his head heavy, wanting nothing more than to press his face against his neck and not move for hours...

''Oh, Phil, look at you, so far behind already, you aren't gonna catch me if you keep racing like this!'' Dan laughed, making Phil come back to reality only to realize that he hadn't been plying attention and was in last place!

'Phil, concentrate, please.' he said to himself in hopes that he could beat Dan, who was in first place already and there was only a lap left.

Trying his hardest, Phil raced as good as he could, managing to be on third place just seconds before Dan's car crossed the balck and white checkered line.

''Yes! I won!'' Dan exclaimed, jumping up from the sofa to make a silly victory dance that made Phil chuckle, not even bothering to stay mad at the fact that he had lost, appreciating the adorable Dan in front of him just dancing and carefree.

Phil let him dance a bit more before he decided to take revenge, also standing up to be at Dan's eye level, ''It's not fair! All or nothing!''

Dan stopped dancing and crossed his arms, frowning at Phil, ''How is it not fair? I won two out of three, that's what we decided, I'm not risking an 'all or nothing', oh no!''

''You distracted me!'' Phil said, not knowing what more to say.

''How did I even manage to distract you? I was just playing next to you!''

''With your good looks and nice smell and...'' Phil put a hand over his mouth as he realised what he said. Could the earth swallow him now, please?

He suddenly found himself in front of a smirking Dan who was slowly taking a few steps closer to Phil, backing the blue eyed against the sofa till his thighs touched the soft armrest.

Dan touched their noses together, brushing them against each other sweetly. Phil closed his eyes, enjoying this little feather-like touch and hoping Dan would just kiss him, but apparently the player had other ideas, since he moved his head to Phil's left ear, lips just caressing the skin ''You smell pretty good too, Philip.''

Phil shivered. He freaking shivered thanks to Dan's sensual and low voice.

He felt Dan's lips against his skin, but now on his surely rosy cheek. Then again on his jaw, multiple times, getting closer and closer to his lips, where Phil finally felt Dan's salted lips on his, moving them slowly but repeatedly till Phil finally got his thoughts clear and kissed him back.

Phil felt Dan push him backwards, till both of them ended up on the couch, he under Dan's toned body, enjoying how well their bodies fitted together.

They made out for a few minutes till Dan suddenly separated, smiling mischeviously at Phil.

''What?'' Phil asked softly, admiring the job he had done by messing Dan's curls even more.

''I didn't tell you what prize I want for winning yet,'' he said, pecking Phil once more on the lips.

Phil looked at him a bit scared. What was Dan thinking about doing to him? Was going to be something sexual!? He hoped not, it was too soon, right?

''O...kay. What did you think about?'' Phil's voice trembled a bit, but not enough for Dan to notice, who sighed deeply and looked at Phil's chest, were he kept fiddling with the top button of his shirt.

'Why is he suddenly so downcast?' Phil thought. He hoped nothing was wrong.

''So, I'm leaving for a whole week this Wednesday for a secret project I cannot tell you about yet but I was thinking you could let me read some story of yours? I mean, I will probably have a few hours spare so I thought it would be nice to know what kind of stories you write, but only if you want to, of course...'' Dan rambled, still not looking at Phil.

Wait, Dan was leaving on Wednesday? For a whole week to do a 'secret project'?

And also, he wanted to read his stories? Phil wasn't used to people asking him about his stories, and less when the publishers had always told him 'no'. It felt a bit like a failure to be honest.

He heard Dan sigh frustratedly before speaking again, this time looking up at Phil, ''It's just, I'm in the public eye and you know so much about me already and I don't know half of the things about you, and I think your stories will let me see more about you, but again, only if you want to.''

Phil showed him a tiny smile. Oh Dan. He wanted to learn more about him by reading his stories? It was a touching gesture to be honest.

''Dan, yes, of course I will let you read them. I can give you the last manuscript I sent a while ago if you want to.'' Phil offered. 'Why is he so sweet?'

''Yeah, you sure?'' Dan asked, eyes a bit wide Phil had agreed.

Phil hummed and nodded, smiling at him, ''Yes, I'm sure, let me just get it, okay?''

Dan smiled back at him and separated himself from Phil, who got up and walked fast to his office, picking up the stack of papers that had been lying on his table for a while now and putting them inside an envelope.

'But what if Dan hates it? Would he ever tell him? What if he thought Phil was a mediocre writer and laughed at him for wanting to be an author?' Many thoughts passed his mind. Phil had to admit he was scared of Dan's opinion on him, but dismissed them and walked back into the living room nonetheless, where he found Dan sitting on the couch instead of lying down.

''Here,'' Phil handed him the envelope as he sat down next to him, ''my last manuscript. It's a bit long, I don't know if you will finish it in a week but...'' he trailed off, realizing he won't be seeing Dan for a week.

Taking into account that they were getting used to see each other often, Phil didn't know what would happen with them. A week wasn't that long but they were just going on dates, not even developing whatever they had further or not, they were... stuck. No labels. Phil wasn't really sure where he stood with Dan and even though it might seem silly, it made him feel a bit insecure.

''Thank you. I'm sure I will manage to read it all, don't worry. I will tell you what I think about it, see if you are a better author than I already think you are,'' Dan chuckled.

Phil laughed a bit but changed the subject, ''So... this secret project... it's only a week long, right?'' he tried to keep the question casual, not really succeding.

''Yeah, from Wednesday to Wednesday... It was very short notice and it's such a good opportunity I couldn't let go to waste.'' Dan said, ''but I will text you or call you and we can skype if you are avaliable! I don't want to stop seeing you, I'm kind of used to seeing your face, and holding your hands... and... and kissing your lips.''

Phil could have melted right into his sofa but instead he leaned in and pecked Dan on his rosy lips, ''like this?'' Phil said in a low voice, smiling, knowing Dan would probably enjoy a bit more of... action.

''No, more like...'' Dan closed the small gap between them with a bit of more force, moving his lips as he had done a few minutes before, Phil's following him in sync, enjoying the little moment between the two.

''I'll miss you. It only a week but I know I'll miss you.'' Dan said almost quietly as he touched their foreheads together once they both felt the need for oxygen.

''I'll miss you too.'' Phil repeated, leaning in for another short kiss. ''Only a week, Dan. It's only a week.''

 


	9. Photographs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan goes to Ireland for his photoshoot. Phil finds a surprise attached to the windows. And they both miss each other terribly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, I'm finally back! I'm sorry the updates are so slow lately but it's getting a bit more challenging to add 'drama' to this story and also life has been a bit crazy this past few days so yeah... 
> 
> Anyways, thank you for all your encouraging comments and kudos, I really appreaciate them and you are all lovely creatures <3 
> 
> Hope you enjoy this chapter and any type of feedback is welcome!

Wednesday came and Phil was dreading going to work. Today Dan was leaving for that 'secret project' and Phil didn't want to face the fact that he wouldn't be seeing him in a week.

They spent yesterday night talking over the phone till Phil yawned like three times in less than a minute and decided it was time to say goodbye. A few other 'I'll miss you' and 'have a nice time' were exchanged, as if none of them wanted to stop talking to the other.

Sighing, Phil got ready for day and walked calmly to his work, enjoying the nice morning sun that was colouring the tall buildings in pretty oranges and yellows.

As he had done so many times, he put on his earphones and started cleaning the tall windows that were becoming too familiar to his liking.

Sooner than expected, Phil found himself at the top floor, smiling a bit at the familiar sightings. Dan had left his flat in a bit of a mess; a few socks, a pair of trousers and two t-shirts lying on the carpeted floor. The blue eyed guessed it was because Dan was such a 'last-minute' guy he probably did his suitcase after their phonecall.

Phil smiled and shook his head, 'This guy'.

Sighing rather loudly, knowing that no one could hear him up there, Phil took out his cleaning products and was about to spray them into the windows when he spotted something stuck to them.

Deciding to investigate, Phil walked towards whatever that was, laughing as he saw a row of polaroid pictures, each one a Dan selfie where he kept making cute or 'ugly' faces, one word written with black marker at the bottom white space of them, the familiar hand writting bringing a few flashbacks onto his mind.

Admiring each photograph Phil read every word, arranging them into a proper sentece:

_'So – you – don't – forget – this – ugly – face. – See – you – soon. – ♥'_

Phil wanted to laugh and cry at the same time. This was the sweetest thing someone had made for him.

Dan was such a considerate guy. He kept surprising Phil in many ways no one had ever done before and he really found this details endearing,

''Ugly face, he says, ugh.'' Phil said to himself, still staring at the small pictures, appreciating the bush of curls and deep brown eyes that he was starting to miss already.

Could this week be over, already?

______________

It was around lunch time when Dan landed in a cloudy Ireland, quickly hoping into the car the company had ready for him just outside the airport and driving to a very lively rural-looking city. Once he left the suitcase in his hotel bedroom, the same driver drove Dan to the location where he would be working.

After almost half an hour, a beautiful landscape appeared in front of his eyes. A hill full of different tones of greens with multiple spots of lilac and yellow flowers that the wind was calmly moving, leaving Dan breathless at the sight.

Dan got out of the car, admiring the scenery in front of him. 'I would love to come here with Phil.' he thought. They would love this, it was so nice. Dan was already thinking of coming here with a blanket and spend the day with his head on Phil's lap as the blue eyed read to him for hours. Yeah, it seemed like a perfect date.

Suddenly, a strong voice startled him, ''Dan Howell, long time no see!''

Already smiling, Dan turned around only to see Peter Wright. He had been the director of the last campaign and it seemed like he was the one for this new one too. Great, at least a familiar face Dan could spot around.

Dan greeted him back which led to a quick conversation while Peter showed Dan around and what he wanted to do for this campaign.

Apparently, he and his modeling partner Claire would be trying different outfits of their new clothing range. They wanted to keep a 'rustic aesthetic' as Peter described, so that's why the landscape was a must.

''Also, we want you and Claire act like star-crossed lover. Runaways who left their actual lives to continue with their love somewhere else, what leads us to living a non-approved romance in a rural village. Yeah, a bit weird concept but you will see. Expect a few sensual shots in the next few days but nothing that you haven't done before, of course,'' Peter mentioned.

Dan almost frowned but somehow managed to control his hace expressions. He could act like a 'lover' with Claire, he had done that a few times in the past, but would he be comfortable now that he was almost in a relationship with Phil? Well, it was acting. And, believe it or not, acting had always been one of Dan's passions and even though it could be a bit pretentious, he considered himself a pretty good actor at this point.

''We will make a few test-photos today and tomorrow, see what light settings, make-up and more we will work with so we can work properly in the next few days,'' Peter said, finally arriving to an open space with a few tents where a crew was franatically running around.

Peter showed Dan what would be his changing and lounging room and left him for a few minutes till he came back with Claire Vickard, who had been one of the best tennis players in the last three years. It was really a privilege to work with someone so professional.

''Dan Howell, nice to finally meet you. Claire Vickard,'' she showed him a small smile and handed him a hand which he shook.

''Hello Claire, nice to meet you too,'' Dan repeated, also smiling.

Once Peter pitched them three into a conversation Dan's mind wandered till his eyes landed on Claire.

She was tall, not as tall as Dan, but she had a pretty good height that seemed to heighten thanks to her black and sleek ponytail letting him see her face features better, making her clear green eyes look even greener.

'They are not like Phil's' Dan almost groaned at the though. Yeah, her eyes might be greener than Phil's, but her features reminded him so much of the window cleaner it wouldn't be that easy to forget about said person.

It was going to be difficult. Pretty difficult.

______________

The day was finally over. It was 9pm and Phil had managed to have a productive afternoon of developing ideas that had potential to be a proper novel, wiriting whatever came into his mind and writing a few paraghaphs or pages at least. After a nice dinner and some cereal he decided to just lay on his bed watching a movie on his laptop, browsing to see which one he could pick that he hadn't watched yet.

He had messaged Dan earlier, thanking him for the pictures and reminidng him he didn't have 'an ugly face' but he hadn't gotten any response yet, meaning he was busy or simply wanted to disconnect from the world a bit.

As if reading his mind, his phone vibrated, quickly picking it up from his nightsand Phil saw a new message from Dan, _'can you skype? wanna see you.'_

_'Sure, let me call you.'_

Phil closed his movie folder and opened Skype, easily calling Dan who after a minute appeared on the screen, almost in the same position as Phil, leaning against the headboard of what seemed a king sized bed, some pillows supporting his back. Dan's smiley face was tinted with the yellow light coming from a nightstand lamp, making his black t-shirt stand out even more.

''Hi'' Phil said shyly, regarding the old pyjamas he was wearing, not having even tought about changing.

''Hello, how was your day?'' Dan asked from the other side, his voice sounded happy but tired, Phil hoped he wasn't keeping him up even though Dan had been the one to ask to Skype.

''Nah, nothing much, just went to work and saw your super ugly pictures stuck to the windows.'' Phil joked, making them both chuckle, ''But, it was a very nice surprise, so thank you so much.'' he said sincerely.

''You're welcome. I wanted to make something nice for you since you are letting me read your manuscript which, by the way, it's going pretty well. It has me very intrigued.'' Dan picked up the stack of papers from the nightstand and showed it to Phil. He could spot a bright green post-it note marking Dan's reading. He noticed it wasn't very advanced, but enough to at least have read two chapters.

''Yeah? Are you liking it so far?'' Phil asked worried about his response.

''I'm really liking it. It has the perfect amount of mystery and sci-fi elements I like in a novel,'' Dan said.

Phil pulled a surprised face. Dan was enjoying his novel and he couldn't be happier. ''yeah? You really like it? You are not just saying it because it's me, right?''

''Of course not! I think this is your opportunity, Phil. This is good, like, really good.''

''Tell that to publishing houses... All I have received are rejection emails,'' Phil muttered under his breath, not knowing if Dan had heard.

''Believe me, I think this is your big chance. Just, wait a bit more, I'm sure you will get good news soon,'' Dan said, giving him a smile, hoping Phil would cheer up a bit.

''I hope so, it has been so difficult... I have been writing since I finished my degree and I just don't know anymore... Maybe writing isn't for me, after all,'' Phil didn't really want to make this Skype call so upseting, but he needed to talk about it and Dan seemed like he was willing to listen to him and give him all support he needed.

''Phil, listen, writing is your passion. Writing is your definitely your thing. You of all people deserve to be an author. And you will become one, I know. It might take a bit more of time but believe me, you will make it.''

''Thank you,'' Phil croaked out, his voice a bit emotional. Dan's encouraging words were all he needed, ''I really needed to hear that.''

''You, Phil Lester, will be a future author, okay?'' Dan repeated.

Phil nodded, trying to get those words inside his brain. ''I'm sorry for ranting, I just, I felt like I needed to get that out of my chest...''

''Hey, don't worry, you can count on me for everything.'' Dan said, his beautiful smile not fading from his face. Oh, how he wished he could be with Dan now, cuddling and maybe kissing under the blankets...

''I wish I could hug you right now.'' Phil whispered.

''I wish I could hug you too.'' Dan repeated in the same tone, grabbing one of the throw pillows he had on his bed and clutching it to his chest, yawning in the process.

Phil decided it was time to go to bed. He didn't want to keep Dan up much longer, he must had had a long day in this 'secret project' and sure he needed to rest.

''You're tired, talk to you tomorrow?'' Phil suggested, offering him a small smile.He saw Dan tried to fight his tiredness, but another yawn made him backtrack.

''Okay, good night, Phil.'' Dan waved at him, ''Miss you.''

''Miss you too, Dan'' Phil managed to say before they hung up.

Needless to say they both fell asleep hugging a pillow as close to them as possible.

______________

The rest of the week went calm for Dan. He found it really easy to work with Claire since she was so professional. Peter would shout phrases like 'hands lower!', 'caress each other's face, yeah that's it!' and they acted it as natural as it could get. While they were resting they took time to know the other, bonding so well and quickly at the same time Dan could consider Claire a friend already.

Also, he and Phil had been Skyping each night to speak about everything and nothing. Dan managed to read a bit more of Phil's manuscript everyday, even if it was just a few pages, but he really was enjoying the story.

Phil didn't get enough credit, that for sure. Oh, boy. How much he missed him.

It was Monday evening now and they were going to a lake to shoot a few of Peter's famous 'sensual photos' since he wanted to picture a ''lustful swimming sunset scene'' as he had expressed yesterday.

The lake indeed was also as beautiful as the field they had been working on till now. Dark water reaching the surprising sandy shore with tall rocky mountains to they right and left, making shadows along the water thanks to the now orange sunlight that reached the scenenery.

So, after takinga few pictures to send later to Phil, Dan did as he was told, put on the swimsuit he was supposed to wear and left his changing room, spotting Claire in her bikini already waiting for him.

''How are you so fast on the field and so slow at changing clothes, uh?'' Claire teased him, making the both chuckle.

''Must be a baseball player thing, I guess,'' Dan replied, not managing to say anything else since Peter called at them both to go into the water.

It was cold (it was freaking Ireland, of course it was cold!) and both of them were shivering at first, but after Peter told them to swim around bit at first it was okay.

''Okay, we will do a few out of the water shots first and them underwater, fine with that?'' eh director said, who received a quick nod from both of the athletes.

Dan and Claire swam around, 'flirting' as they had been doing with the other pictures before, splashing water and giving suggestive glances to each other. Peter shouted from the shore that they needed to get closer and act a bit more 'lustful' so Claire laced her arms around Dan's neck and Dan's hands traveled to her waist, standing up with their feet touching the sand unterwater, the water surrounding them by their thighs.

Claire trailed a few kisses along Dan's jaw, reaching his ear and whispering silly things as Dan tried not to laugh, keeping a serious face for the shake of the shoot and deciding to move his mouth down to Claire's shoulder, leaving a few kisses there. Dan tried to pull her closer but somehow managed to make them both lose their balance, sending them both splashing into the water, instantly laughing.

They heard Peter's laugh cut the repetive clicking of the camera sutter from the shore, probably meaning they should be done with this part of the shot, ''Okay, let's do the underwater shoots before the light fades''.

Peter instructed them once again, meaning one of his helpers would be going underwater with them and these shots would involve kissing, like 'proper kissing, tongue included'.

When Dan heard those words he wanted to believe he hadn't heard the right. 'Proper kissing' meant the opposite to chaste-like pecks on cheeks, of course. It was acting and he knew it but Phil... Dan was sure that by the time the campaign pictures were out he would have already asked Phil to be his boyfriend, he was sure of it, so it should be fine.

''You okay, Dan? I hope I'm not that horrible to kiss!'' Claire said jokingly.

Dan chuckled. He would have told Claire about Phil, he would have, but he wasn't sure if Phil would have wanted that, ''It's just that I wasn't expecting more kissing but yeah, I'm sure you will be... okay to kiss'' he teased, getting a fake offended huff from Claire, who looked like she wanted to say something else but Peter's words cut her off.

''You two, stop bickering and back into the water, you will start kissing out of it and slowly submerge into the water. Once you feel oxygen is necessary, just come up. We can repeat it a few times, understood?''

They both nodded, knowing there wasn't any other alternative to Peter's words. A bit awkwardly, they walked back into the water, swimming further than before and latching into each other for balance, staring at each other's eyes.

Dan looked into Claire's green eyes and wet black hair, her features reminding him once again how much he wished he was with Phil right now... Maybe if Dan imagined he was with Phil instead...

He felt Claire's arms tighten around his neck, bringing him a bit closer so he did the same, pressing their foreheads together and closing his eyes before slowly pressing their lips together. Dan felt Claire bit his lower lip for entrance, which he allowed for a while imagining it was Phil who he was kissing.

Phil and only Phil.

Dan grabbed Claire's hips a bit tighter before sending them both purposely under the water, trying to keep the kiss passionate and professional as possible as long as their lungs allowed them too.

After a while, oxygen became necessary so they separated their mouths and rapidly swam back up, breathing for air as they once again held each other for balance.

Heavily inhaling and exhaling, Dan looked at Claire, remainding his brain that she wasn't Phil.

She. Was. Not. Phil.

Dan's chest felt heavy. He just wanted to see Phil now, be close to him so he could feel better about all of this but he knew that was going to be impossible. He just wanted to arrive to the hotel and curl up under the blankets while he skyped the blue eyed, seeing his tired and sleepy face across the crappy webcam as he had done everyday since Wednesday.

Suddenly he heard Peter's voice calling them, saying that they were done for today so they could go back to their hotel, meaning the day was finally over.

So, with a quick 'goodbye, see you tomorrow' to Claire, Dan walked into his changing room, discarding the wet swimsuit before putting back his comfy sweatshirt and jeans, hoping into the car that drove him to his lonely hotel bedroom.

Once he arrived Dan threw himself on the bed and was ready to text Phil when a new message from said person popped into the screen, _'Work was horrible today, I'm extremely tired to Skype today, I'm sorry :( but talk to you tomorrow? :)'_

Dan was a bit disappointed but he understood. Mondays for Phil were pretty much tiring and he guessed he was going to bed early, so even though Dan felt the need to see him he understood. They could talk tomorrow anyways, he could live with that.

 _'Sure, no worries. We can Skype tomorrow if you are not that tired.'_ Dan replied, deciding to type a _'Good night. Miss you._ _♥_ _'_ to finish his message, but no response came in, meaning for sure Phil had already fallen asleep.

 


	10. More Photographs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Paparazzi photos arise. Dan tries to fix all this mess.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so this is like really... really late and I'm sorry. I have had such crazy weeks lately with uni and stuff it is being difficult to write that often, but hey, this chapter is much longer so enjoy!

Apparently it only took a night for everything to come crashing down.

Phil woke up on Tuesday to the constant sound of his doorbell, not knowing who in this planet wanted to see him so badly.

It had been a terrible Monday. He woke up late and during work he felt an awful migraine coming up, arriving home exhausted, not even managing to Skype Dan later that day due to needing sleep as soon as possible.

Couldn't whoever it was leave him alone for a day?

He groaned and hid under his blue and green duvet, trying to block the noise but it didn't stop, so he put on his unmatching socks along with his glasses and padded all the way to his front door, yawning a few times in the process.

''Who is it?'' he asked, not even bothering to look through the peephole.

''It's me, Martyn, open up!'' his brother's voice said from the other side, finally stopping ringing the doorbell.

Phil opened the door but didn't manage to even greet his brother when Martyn barged in, grabbing Phil by his arm and leading him to the living room.

''Whoa wait! What's happening?'' Phil managed to ask, not understanding his brother's behaviour.

''Have you seen it? I suppose you haven't if you just woke up.'' Martyn said, leaving Phil in a more confused state than he already was.

''What was I supposed to see?'' Phil asked a bit worried, not really trusting himself to make suggestions.

''This,'' Martyn took out his phone and showed Phil a news article with a shocking headline in big bold black letters: **'Hot! Sport stars Dan Howell and Claire Vickard, two surprise lovers show their passion while on a secret escapade!'**

Phil stared, not being able to read much more of that article. ''Wha...'' he whispered, scrolling a bit further down the page only to see a few pictures of Dan and Claire.

They were paparazzi like photos, taken from a hidden spot where you could only see the both athletes swimming around a lake, talking, laughing and... kissing. Passionately kissing.

Phil didn't know what to feel. But him and Dan... This couldn't be.

He knew he shouldn't believe what the media said. They were often liars and sometimes they manipulated pictures or events just to create interest even though those facts weren't true.

But this time it wasn't that easy. These pictures were pretty much real, they didn't look edited at all, and well, when Dan left to Ireland they didn't establish a proper 'relationship status', they hadn't even talked about the possibility of making whatever they had into something more serious, so maybe Dan had found something better. Meaning that 'better' was clearly a professional tennis player who went by the name of Claire Vickard.

A part of his brain was telling him that Dan wouldn't do that, that Dan wasn't like that, but at the same time it was difficult when you belonged to completely opposite worlds.

Phil could never compete with that. He was just a window cleaner at the moment, trying to make it as an author, a really competitive field that he was now doubting he would ever get into.

Looking back, Phil recalled that Dan had only been with famous people before, it was logical he would want to continue being with someone who shared that 'famous status'.Yeah, it was a matter of time that Dan found something much better. Much more suitable for his lifestyle.

''Phil, I thought you two were together,'' he heard Martyn say, grabbing his attention from the article, ''He is cheating on you!''

''Well... we... we didn't establish anything. We weren't boyfriends, were just going on dates so yeah... it really wasn't serious...''

'At least not for him' Phil added in his brain, starting to really feel upset now that the initial shock had gone away.

''I'm going to find him and... and...'' Martyn exclaimed in a furious tone, not even knowing how to finish that sentence.

''No, you are not going to do anything, okay?'' Phil said, seriousness clear in his voice, ''You are not doing anything because there is nothing to fix. Dan and I were nothing, it was just a fling, nothing else.''

Saying those words our lout hurt Phil's feelings more than he had expected. It had been more than 'just a fling' for him, he was seriously starting to develop stronger feelings for Dan. Feelings that he couldn't voice this soon but they were there. They were real.

Phil just wanted to lie on his bed and cry now. He didn't know if he was more surprised, upset or angry. At Dan or with himself. For not realizing sooner that this wouldn't get anywhere; that this was only a thing that happened in movies.

''Martyn, you should go, you need to work.'' Phil said, not wantitng to break down in front of his brother.

''But Phil, I can stay, you need someone right now,'' Martyn said, giving Phil a hug which the younger accepted, trying to keep his tears from falling down.

Once Phil separated from the comforting hug, he handed Martyn his phone back, ''Go, I need to be alone for a bit.''

''Phil.. I...''

''Please, just go,'' Phil said defeatedly, staring at his brother with a black expression on his face.

It seemed as if Martyn wanted to say something more, but closed his mouth and sighed before speaking again, ''I will be back later, okay? Call me if you need anything.''

And with that Martyn hugged Phil one more time before leaving the flat, closing the front door with a soft click, a faint noise that made Phil start crying silently in the middle of his living room.

______________ 

 

''C'mon, pick up,'' Dan said to the phone as he called Phil for the 5th time.

This morning, when Peter had called him and Claire for a talk before shooting once again he knew something had been wrong.

As the director had explained, some paparazzi had taken photos of Claire and him at the lake, and now the pictures were everywhere, a few articles already written about the ''secret romance'' they both had been hiding.

But there was no romance! He wasn't going out with Claire! They all knew that but there was a problem... if Phil saw those articles along with the pictures he was sure the blue eyed would think otherwise.

Dan kind of hoped Phil didn't believe the gossip media, but you could never be sure. That's why he had been trying to locate Phil, via call or messages, trying to explain everything, that it was just a modeling job and nothing more; but from the lack of resopnse he was receiving he was sure Phil had already seen everything, leaving Dan feeling like a horrible person.

It wasn't even his fault, it was the annoying paparazzi's! But still, he felt terrible.

Peter had said they should continue with the shooting, since they only had today and tomorrow morning left and they hadn't finished all the photos yet, meaning this could turn into a bigger thing if more photographers got to take a few more snaps, but Peter had assured them both they would take some measures so the campaign wouldn't be affected either.

''Phil, please, pick up...'' Dan said again, feeling disappointed when he heard the first words of the voicemail that he ahd already listened too many times that morning reached his ears.

Dan knew he would need to be professional and be getting ready for today's shoot, he always was with these things, he didn't let anything affect him, but all of this? Thinking that Phil would be crying and surely angry at Dan and probably not wanting to hear from him ever again? Yeah, he couldn't cope with that.

What coud have been his first real relationship with an amazing man, now, thanks to the paparazzi, it was ruined.

He also felt a bit guilty. Dan could have asked him to be his boyfriend before leaving to Ireland, but he didn't know if that could have been better or worse...

Suddenly his phone started ringing, answering the call without even looking at the contact that was calling him, hoping it was who he had been wanting to hear all day, ''Phil?''

''Dan... I'm Estelle,'' his agent's voice said on the other line, a bit guilty.

''Oh, hey. Sorry, I thought you... I've been wanting to talk to Phil all morning so yeah...''

''I'm guessing he saw the pictures and that's why?'' Estelle said, a question to which Dan only hummed disappointedly.

''I think so Estelle. God, I ruined everything,'' Dan wanted to cry, to eb honest. He wanted to go back to London now and explain everything. That if Phil ever agreed to let him, of course.

''Dan, listen. I'm trying everything that is in my hands to take them down, all articles, all pictures, but it's difficult. I've managed to convince a few to take some down, but the big gossip magazines are hard to persuade,'' Estelle mentioned, leaving Dan as surprised as ever, ''I know

''Thank you Estelle. Thank you. I...'' he didn't know what to even say to her. She was an angel.

''I don't know if my efforts will do anything but I know this is not what you wished when you agreed to do the campaign. I could see how happy it made you to be talking about Phil and I don't want the stupid paparazzis to ruin the possibility of that.''

Dan was speechless. Maybe Estelle's actions would fix it, maybe not, but he could only hope for the best.

''Estelle, thank you. I don't know what else to say. Just, thank you.'' Dan managed to let out, a bit touched that she was rooting for him and Phil. That she supported Dan's happiness above all. Above his career. Above his fame.

''Dan, there is no need. When you come back tomorrow afternoon just go and try to explain everything to Phil, I'm sure he will give you a chance. That way you can try and clear everything out better.''

''I'm going to need a miracle for that to happen, but I will try. He at least needs to know the truth, Phil deserves that much.''

Dan continued speaking a bit more to Estelle, trying to calm himself a bit about this mess of situation. He hadn't even thought about the possibility of this happening and thank to it he probably lost one of the most significant people of his life.

Way to go, Dan. Way to go...

______________ 

Phil sighed twice when he woke up on Wednesday. Once, because it was heavily raining and the second because he still had those damned pictures engraved in his mind.

During all Tuesday morning he had let his his phone ring again and again knowing it was Dan. There had been probably fifth calls in a span of an hour before they stopped and it took all of his willpower not to pick it up and answer, because he knew that if he had spoken to the baseball player he would have ended up crying on the line and he couldn't live with that embarrassement. Not after all of this.

He did also see a few messages pop up on the screen, but he didn't open them, trying to give himself a bit of 'alone time' while he thought this through.

By lunchtime he felt miserable and contacted his brother, who left work and came to his flat, making him watch silly animated movies the rest of the day in hopes of cheering him up, but it did close to nothing, only letting Phil's mind wonder how he had ended up in this.

But now, Tuesday was over, his brother was working all day and work didn't help when he had to see Dan's empty and lonely apartment once again, reminding him of the brown eyed even more. Those freaking cute polaroids still stuck on the windows, almost making Phil cry.

Even though it was still heavily raining and his yellow raincoat wasn't doing much more of protecting him from the rain Phil decided to wander around his city, trying to think more clearly what was happening.

Phil's little voice was still nagging him that there must be some explanation for this, for why Dan was kissing Claire Vickard on a lake in Ireland. There must be something that Phil couldn't place yet... Should he let Dan explain? Would Dan be honest with him? That would have to be seen...

His stroll was so long that it was almost night when he decided to come back to his flat, totally not expecting a drenched curly haired and shaky Dan waiting by his door with a somehow dry envelope clutched to his chest.

''Dan?''

______________ 

''Dan?'' he heard Phil ask him. It wasn't an angry ask, just, surprised, as if he had not been expecting Dan to be heare.

Believe him, if he had been Phil he would have reacted the same way.

''Dan? What... are you doing here?'' he heard Phil ask once again in the same tone as he hadn't even responded that first time.

''Oh, First... I'm sorry I... I don't know... Phil I...'' Dan managed to say as he felt really nervous and it didn't help that he was also shaking from the cold.

He had run to Phil's flat as soon as his plane landed only wearing a thin t-shirt and skinny jeans, leaving his suitcase quickly on his bulding, only picking up his keys, wallet and phone and another thing he had brought for Phil just before turning up here, not even remembering to grab an umbrella or even a raincoat as the blue eyed was wearing.

That damned yellow raincoat that made Phil look adorable as he recalled one of those first days when they had started talking.

Dan saw Phil walking closer to him, making him even more nervous. God, Phil was going to sent him away, wasn't him? Dan felt horrible. He was trembling and could probably cry. Why was this such a shitty situation?

''Hey, come inside, you must be freezing,'' Phil said as he sensed his worry, opening the main door. Dan looked surprised for a second that Phil was being so gentle with him, even if he had a serious expression on his face, his tone said otherwise, so he quickly entered instantly feeling a bit warmer, taking in the white hallways he had seen before as he followed the blue eyed inside, who took out his yellow coat and hung it, signing Dan to take out his shoes and surely wet socks to leave them there to dry before walking further into the flat.

He felt the carpet under the soles of his feet, letting Phil guide them both to an almost dark bedroom. Phil's bedroom to be exact. Dan couldn't see much, but he spotted a few plushies and a ton of books on different shelves, surely making the room a bit more colorful than it already was. It was such a Phil thing to be honest.

''Here, you can change in the bathroom there. Leave the clothes by the tub, they will get dry while we talk,'' Phil startled him out of his thoughts, handing him a dark t-shirt and some grey tracksuit bottoms and pointing at the door where the ensuite bathroom was.

Dan quietly thanked him and walked inside, closing the door as he could with the clothes along with the envelope still clutched to his chest, managing to change quickly before reappearing again to find a pyjama claded Phil with his glasses sat by the headboard, switching on one of the lamps on the bedside tables.

Dan walked and sat down by the end of the bed, the envelope now resting on his lap as he smoothed the few wrinkles that had been creade by his strong grip.

He lifted his gaze for a moment, and looked at Phil, who had a neutral expression on his face, quickly making Dan tear his gaze away from him, not daring to look at Phil more. He felt as if he didn't deserve it.

''So... you came back.'' Phil mentioned, his tone still not angry, just... normal. Why wasn't Phil angry at Dan? He didn't understand. Phil should be angry, furious even, but no, he was.. patient; as if he was waiting for an explanation.

''Yeah. I... I managed to catch the first flight but due to the storm it was harder to land... I can explain everything if you let me?'' Dan said, not wanting to make this longer.

Phil hummed and Dan guessed he also nodded, but didn't see as he was still looking down, ''Look, I shouldn't be telling you this because it was secret but to hell with all contracts. I don't care about them anymore. My agent, Estelle, managed to get me another clothing campaign with this sport clothing brand I've worked before, but this time I had to get shoots done with Claire Vickard.''

Dan sighed, trying his best to explain, ''We travelled to Ireland where we met Peter, the director of the campaign. He told us to expect some 'sensual photos' that ended up being a 'lustful swimming sunset scene' as he explained... I felt terrible Phil. I thought like, okay, I can act but still, even if it was acting I should have said no. I should have refused to do them even if that meant breaking the contract and ruining my career. I knew it. While we were shooting them I couldn't get you out of my head. I wished it had been you. I wished so much it would have been you.''

He took a deep breath before continuing his explanation, ''We left this in such ambiguous terms I was scared of what would happen if you saw the campaign, but in my head, I was sure I could take a step forward before the cat was out of the bag. What I didn't see comming was the shitty paparazzi pictures twisting everything and making everyone believe that I'm going out with Claire Vickard. She and I are just friends and I need you to believe that, Phil. I need you to believe me.''

Dan was almost crying at this point. If Phil didn't believe anything now this was surely over. He turned a bit to look at Phil, who was still looking at him, but a bit of emotion on his face that Dan couldn't place.

''Phil... being away from you it was harder than I expected it to be. It made me realize I couldn't let you slip though my fingers, not when you are already so close. Not when you are the only person who has managed to open my heart this way and made me feel things taht I haven't felt before. Making me feel less lonely. I just... I just wanna be with you.'' Dan looked away, cleaning a few tears that had started to fall down his face. He was opening up to Phil in a way he had never done before and yes, he was emotional. He could be emotional, even if it was a side that no one knew about him.

''Dan...'' he heard Phil say but Dan didn't lift his gaze, he didn't want Phil to see him crying.

''I'm sorry Phil. I should have... I should have made something about this, us, earlier. I should have asked you to be my boyfriend and I was ready to do so on our videogame date but I was scared... I have, I have never been in a relationship before. I have never told anyone this before.'' Dan admitted, finally letting oen of his biggest secrets out loud.

''But, you have gone out with plenty of famous people, right?'' Phil questioned curiously and Dan understood where he was coming from.

''There were all fake relationships. They were never real. They were only to make the others have a bit of fame since a was a promising star of baseball so yeah, there you have it. Dan Howell, famous baseball player, has never had a partner before,'' Dan cry-laughed at this, a few tears still making his way down his cheeks. If he hadn't before, he now had lost all his chances of going out with Phil. He was pathetic, oh God. ''So, if you still wanna see me and somehow bare with me, even only as friends I will take it, because you... you are one of the best things that has ever happened to me Phil.''

Dan couldn't hold his tears anymore and cried into his hands as he had wanted to do many times before, letting every emotion he had bottled up all this time into this night.

''Dan,'' he felt the duvet move as Phil crawled towards him, sitting down beside him and grabbing his hands away from his face, threading their fingers together, making Dan gasp a bit at the contact. What...? Why was Phil so friendly? He should be laughing at him, or angry, or something! He was not supposed to be this kind... Not after Dan had made him feel this bad.

''Dan, I believe you.'' Phil said, taking also a deep breath, ''At first, when I saw those pictures I was confused, I kept reminding myself I wouldn't believe it, that this was just the press making his thing, but then another part of me said that we weren't even going out properly, we hadn't even established anything before you went away, so it was possible that you would have found someone like Claire, someone who shares your lifestyle, it made sense.''

''But Phil, I...'' Dan tried to explain, that it didn't matter if Phil wasn't famous. He didn't care. He was Phil and it was enough.

''But now that you explained I understand and I believe you. I knew there was something behind all of it and now that you have explained the campaign and everything I believe you Dan. I believe you.'' Phil said, squeezing their hands together tightly, giving him a small smile. ''And... I don't care that you haven't been in another relationship before, I don't care, really. Your secret is safe with me, okay?''

Dan sighed and copied his smile, feeling like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders but he knew this talk wasn't over yet.

''Can I ask you a question though?'' Phil said to which Dan nodded, his smile fading a bit. He didn't know what to even expect but he was ready for anything, even the possibility of Phil sending him away even if he believed him.

''What's inside that envelope?'' Dan wanted to laugh at Phil's question. Of course he would ask that! Phil had such a curious personality it was unbelieveable!

''I brought this for you,'' Dan handed Phil the envelope, who grabbed it but didn't open it yet, as if waiting for an explanation, ''when I said I was ready to ask you to be my boyfriend I was going to do it this way but I guess I wasn't as brave a I though so I kind of chickened out last minute... I'm, god, I sound pathetic, but yeah, it was a big step for me but I'm ready now so... open it.''

Dan observed as Phil opened the envelope carfuly, trying no to rip it in half, pulling out a surprised face as he lifted what was inside up to his eyes to observe it better.

''Wha...? Dan how, what?'' Phil babbled, not tearing his eyes away from the item. It was a ticket for a Rocky Planets' game.

''So, Phil Lester, would you like to go to and see the Rocky Planets' first game of this baseball season... as my boyfriend?'' Dan managed to ask before he heard Phil's loud 'Yes!' echo through the bedroom, somehow illuminating the dim lit bedroom a bit more with his smile.

Dan mirrored Phil's smile, teeth showing in a grin that soon was wiped away by a pair of soft lips pressing against his, making him react fast and grabbing Phil's cheeks, bringing him on a deeper kiss, enjoying the sweet flavour that he had mised so much during this week and that he had been close to lose.

''I cannot believe Dan Howell is now my.. boyfriend.'' Phil whispered once their kiss was over, leaning in again to peck his lips again a few times more.

''I cannot believe Phil Lester is my... first boyfriend.'' Dan said in the same tone, finally realizing that he was in a real realtionship. That he had someone that cared for him as more than a friend, someone who could share a life with... someone who would take his loneliness finally away.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! You can leave a comment and/or kudos if you want to. It would mean a lot <3
> 
> You can follow me on Tumblr at irphanfic.tumblr.com to know the updates of my phanfics or if you want to prompt me anything. See you next time! :D


	11. Walking On Sunshine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's a long weekend. Dan has some wall painting to do and Phil gets an important phonecall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow. First of all, I'm really sorry for teh delay of this chapter. I'm extremely busy with uni and since I'm having a bit of a writer's block with this story it has been really difficult to get this chapter out. 
> 
> Either way, thank you for following my stories and supporting my writing, it means a lot! Anyways, every kudos and feedback is welcome! 
> 
> Enjoy!

Dan didn't go home that night.

He tried to, mentioning a few times that he should let Phil rest after the crazy few days he had had, trying to give Phil a bit of space if he wanted.

If Dan was honest he hadn't really wanted to go back to his lonely apartment in the heavy rain, but he could understand Phil's boundaries so he offered anyways, but Phil wasn't getting any of it, convincing Dan to stay with a few soft kisses.

So Dan ended up staying, still acting a bit shy around Phil when he told Dan to lie down with him on his bed, getting under the covers and sighing when Phil put his arms around him, bringing him closer to his still cold body, laying his head on Phils's chest, the beat of his heart relaxing Dan to the point that he fell asleep before managing to say a faint ''good night''.

It was now the next morning and Dan woke up slowly, rolling onto his side while his head rested on a pillow...? Wait. He thought he had fallen asleep almost on top of Phil last night? Had he dreamed that? Was yeterday all a dream? He hoped it really wasn't.

''Phil?'' Dan softly called, searching blindly for a warm body next to him only to receive no response. Was Phil still asleep?

Dan opened his eyes and looked around, finding no Phil on the bed or even on the bedroom. Had Phil left him? No, this couldn't be, Phil wouldn't do that. He must be in the bathroom then. But the door was still open and no one was there... Phil had really left him alone on his bed?

Dan was now more convinced than ever that yesterday had been all a dream. That it was all in his head. He only wanted to cry now.

He was about to get up and dress as quick as possible to leave this nightmare when suddenly the bedroom door opened, a messy haired Phil walking in with a tray on his hands that carried a few plates and mugs, his glasses falling a bit down his nose making him trip a bit at the entrance but quickly regaining the balance.

''Oh, you are up! It was going to be a surprise but I brought you breakfast!'' Phil said with a tired smile, walking towards Dan who just blankly stared at him.

Had Phil, who had only been his boyfriend for a few hours, really walked in to bring Dan breakfast? Now, this was a fucking dream. Dan only thought this only happened in movies...

''I only had cereal and a bit of fruit, but I made coffee with two sugars as you like it. I can do some toast if you would like but I don't have any jam so I thought it wouldn't be the best idea and...'' Phil rambled as he set the tray down on Dan's lap, bracketing his thights and sitting down next to Dan, popping up some pillows on the headboard to get more comfortable.

Dan continued to stare. He was sure he looked stupid right now but he couldn't seem to function. This was something Dan had been dreaming of happening for a while now and Phil had managed to do it without even knowing that Dan would have wanted something like this.

''Is something wrong? You don't like this cereal, I can bring you oth...'' Dan heard Phil ask with a concerned expression on his face.

''No!'' Dan cut him off, maybe a bit too loudly and strong than he had intended, ''No, Phil, no. I... I like this cereal. I like this breakfast thing, I like it a lot. Thank you.'' Dan said in a softer tone this time, accompaning all the words with a proper smile, ''It's actually one thing... no, it's silly nevermind, let's eat.'' Dan said, wanting to tell Phil about his 'dream', but Phil would proably think it was so foolish and lame so he discarded the idea of even mentioning something.

''Hey, no Dan, if it matters to you it cannot be silly, okay? You can tell me if you want.'' Phil said, grabbing one of Dan's hands between his, somehow giving Dan an impulse to start opening up to the blue eyed.

''It's just... everytime I felt lonely I wished for someone to enter my bedroom and bring me breakfast with coffee, some fruit, pancakes and a rose, I don't really know why but then you suddenly entered the bedroom and I... It's just a small gesture but to me it means a lot. And the fact that you didn't even know about it makes it more impressive so... thank you.'' Dan explained, feeling a lot better already.

''Well, I'm sorry mine didn't carry pancakes or a rose so I think for next time I will have to keep that in mind.'' Phil said, bringing Dan for a sweet kiss that had his heart fluttering not only because of the soft and gentle kiss, but also the words. He would love to have breakfast in bed with Phil every morning.

''Wait, you don't have practice today?'' Phil asked as soon as they separated.

''I did, but I called yesterday and coach let me the next two days off. I guessed I would need a bit of time to process whatever happened when I came to yours.'' Dan said, taking a small sip from his coffee, ''This was more important to me than practice anyways, so I even if I didn't have permission to miss training I would have done it anyways. My mind would be too busy and wouldn't be able to concentrate so...''

''So, given that you don't have more practice till Monday.... you wanna spend this four day weekend with me? I mean, I have to work on Friday but we could still manage to arrange something, it's just a few hours.'' Phil suggested with a smile, taking a few pieces of fruit.

Dan beamed at him. It was just such a simple suggestion, something you hear all couples do, but still it made him feel all tingly and warm inside. ''Yes, I would love to!''

''Great! Now let's eat, I'm starving, aren't you?'' Phil said, pecking Dan's cheek before grabbing a few more pieces of fruit, almost leaving the bowl empty, alternating between feeding one to Dan and one to himself.

______________

They literally spent all Thursday in Phil's bed, snuggling around blankets and each other as they catched up on anime while eating an unhealthy amount of popcorn and chocolate goods. He had enjoyed every minute he spent with him. Every gentle touch they traded, every caress, every kiss... It seemed as if Dan couldn't get enough of Phil and Phil wouldn't complain about it. Oh no. He was pretty much okay having Dan Howell all over him almost for 24 hours.

Even though Phil insisted Dan to stay the night again, (and could also see on Dan's face that he didn't want to go back to his flat) the player decided to return back since he knew Phil worked tomorrow and wanted him to have a good night's rest.

It was Friday now and Phil was already reaching Dan's windows instantly frowing at the lack of Dan inside the spacious flat. 'Where was he?' He had promised yesterday to be here when Phil arrived...

Suddenly an almost naked Dan walked into the living room just out from the shower as Phil could guess from the maroon towel that was covering his lower body and the few drops of water that were making their way down his toned torso, a mop of ultra messy curls on top of his head that Phil really wanted to untangle with his fingers.

Even though Phil knew his face was deep red and could be seen from kilometres away, he was so glad that the glass separating them was soundproof so Dan couldn't hear the gasp he had let out at the sight.

How was Phil even so lucky? That was a question he didn't know how to answer.

Just as the blue eyed was trying to prentend not to have seen Dan in case he felt uncomfortable, Dan noticed him and smiled, walking towards him and picking up the the notebook he had been using to communicate with Phil all those first times.

While Dan was writing, Phil used his time to he admire his boyfriend's physical attributes up close. He noticed small light brown fleckles scatered around on his collarbones as if they were splatters of paint, followed by a weirdly shaped birthmark on his stomach really near to his belly button, making Dan more of a unique person than he already was.

_'Sorry, showered longer than expected but come up when you finish? Gonna change now :)'_ Phil read once he startled out of his trance.

He gulped and quickly nodded, smiling a little before ushering Dan back to his bedroom with a few hand movements, rapidly picking up a bottle and spraying around so he couldn't get lost on that defined back.

Once Dan disappeared, Phil managed to clean all of the windows on record time, giving him enough time to calm himself down so he could knock on Dan's front door with no red cheeks that would surely been followed by nervous movements and high-pitched greetings.

''Hi,'' a fully dressed Dan said happily as he opened the door even wider, letting Phil in and greeting him with a sweet kiss, lacing his arms around the black haired, who easily responded and kissed Dan back.

''It feels so good to do that,'' Dan said once they separated, quickly closing the door and dragging Phil further in.

''I agree,'' Phil said, leaning in for another kiss that didn't last too long. ''So, what plans did you think we could do today?''

''I have something in mind but first,'' Dan said in a mysterious tone, walking to his bedroom and not letting Phil follow, signing him to sit on the sofa and to leave his coat and backpack at the entrance.

Phil did as he was told and looked around the living room with a new perspective, spotting a few pictures of younger Dan with his family, friends and teamates, smiling at the happiness he was radiating. He also noticed a few books around, reading the vertically written titles rapidly, some of them familiar, some others not so much.

Just before he could finish reading the shelves of books, Dan appeared again, something familiar on his hands.

''My manuscript.''

''Your manuscript.'' Dan sat down next to him, handing him the stack of papers perfectly settled.

''Did you finish it?'' Phil asked a bit waryly. He wouldn't admit it, but Dan's opinion on his writing was pretty important to him. Of course he remembered the compliments the brown eyed had told him a few days back over Skype, but he had just read a little, not enough to form a solid opinion of t yet.

''Yeah, yesterday. I would have finished it earlier but you know after everything well... but Phil, it's... wow, it's mindblowing. Your book, really, I don't know, it has something that drives you in all the time, each chapter, every new character that appears, every single plot twist. Phil, it's amazing.'' Dan finished with a sigh, smiling softly at Phil.

''Really? You think so?'' Phil questioned, staring at his manuscript and back at Dan repeatedly, as if he didn't believe the words he was saying, ''It's just, maybe it wasn't that good, I mean, I haven't gotten a call back from any publishing houses yet so...''

''Yes, really Phil, believe me. It's good, really good. No, even more than that, it's awesome, okay? And, even if it takes time I know that call will arrive, I don't know when but it will arrive.'' Dan said, reaching for Phil's hands to comfort him a bit.

''Thank you,'' Phil muttered, giving Dan a peck before lying his head on his shoulder, instantly feeling Dan's arm bringing him even closer, ''So, let's not talk about my writing anymore, what did you plan for us to do today?''

''Well, you know how I moved here not so long ago, and with practices, interviews, trips and more I have a spare room that needs some painting, so would you help me? If you are up to it, of course, we can always do something else if you want to...'' Dan said, shrugging his shoulders a bit.

''Yeah! It sounds like fun! But you will need to lend me some old clothes since I didn't bring any...'' Phil commented, gesturing to the clothes that he had put on under his work uniform, now stuffed in his backpack.

''Yeah of course, c'mon, we can start now and have a lunch break later on,'' Dan said excitedly as he lifted himself from the sofa and grabbed Phil's hand in the process, pulling him up without any warning.

Phil protested a bit from having to move from the sofa and the sudden movements but a quick kiss from Dan shut him up, ''Stop complaining and follow me, the walls are huge and we will need a few hours to finish the whole room.''

Five minutes later Phil found himself dressed with baggy sweatpants and an extra large sweater that smelled like Dan (not that he was complaining. Not at all) in the middle of an empty ugly green coloured room waiting for Dan to come back with the brushes and paint along with some music and speakers that he had insisted on bringing so they could have some background noise while they painted.

''Ready to paint?'' Dan said as he entered the room, handing Phil a big brush and connecting the phone to some speakers as he choose a random playlist that filled the room with pop music instantly.

Phil nooded and grinned, instantly dipping the brush inside the tub of paint and giving a few gentle strokes on the wall, looking at Dan as he did the same, moving and humming along with the music.

They both had been painting for a while when Walking On Sunshine by Katrina & The Waves came through the speakers, making them both start fully singing and dancing in the silliest way possible as if they were in some karaoke.

'' _Walking on sunshine..._ _I feel the love, I feel the love, I feel the love that's really real! I feel the love, I feel the love, I feel the love that's really real!_ '' They sang looking at each other, staring at the other's crinkled eyes due the big smiles they had on their faces.

Phil didn't know why but he felt warm all sudden. Was it because of the lyrics of the song maybe having a double meaning? No, it couldn't be... But then, he looked at Dan, who probably was mirroring his euphoric mood, literally beaming a Phil and he understood.

He was in love. He was in love with Dan Howell. There was no way out now.

''Phil, you okay?'' he heard Dan ask over the loud notes of an unfamiliar rock song, who was still smiling but had a bit of worry in his expression.

''Yeah, I'm fine. Great!'' Phil answered, smiling back at Dan as he leaned forward and gave him a soft kiss, enjoying the soft look it got on Dan's face.

''Phil! You painted my jumper!'' Dan laughed, trying to erase the paint that was already dry, painting Phil back on revenge.

''It was an accident I swear!'' Phil said staring at the big white spot that was now on Dan's clothes. It had really been an accident when he leaned in and didn't even notice where he had the paint brush, but now he was running, trying his best to escape Dan's brush but not succeeding at all, ''You just painted your own sweater!''

''I don't care, you deserved that!'' Dan replied, trying to make an angry face but not managing to erase the toothy-grin that he was sporting.

''And you, deserve... this!'' Phil reached forward and managed to paint Dan's left cheek, leaving a wide white stroke adorning his face.

Dan gasped at the cold paint on his face, ''Phil! Oh, you are on!''

They started chasing eachother around the empty room, somehow managing to paint one another as they laughed and sang along to old radio music, squealing every time they felt the brush touch their skin or body.

''I think... we should... stop for... a bit'' Phil suggested between breaths. He wasn't a professional athlete like Dan, so after a few minutes running he was more than ready to collapse on the floor.

''You already tired, Lester?'' Dan teased as he turned off the radio and walked up to Phil, caressing his cheek, giving it a soft peck before asking if he wanted a glass of water, an offer Phil gladly took.

As Dan left the room, Phil heard some familiar music but he couldn't place where it was coming from... The radio was turned off so, maybe some neighbour was blasting a song in the shower?

''Phil, I think your phone is ringing!'' he heard Dan shout from the kitchen.

Oh, yeah! It was his rigntone, now it all made sense! Someone was calling him and he didn't get phonecalls that often so it must be important...

Phil ran off the room and picked up the phone from the front pocket of his backpack, not even bothering to look at the number that was calling him.

''Yes?'' Phil answered a bit out of breath, silently thanking Dan as he brought him a big glass of water that he drank in a few seconds, handing it back to Dan who returned to the kitchen to leave Phil speak privately.

''Hi, is this Phil Lester?'' A polite and sweet voice from the other side of the phone asked.

''Yeah, it's me, who is calling?'' Phil asked a bit unsure as he didn't recognize the voice at all...

''Hi, Mr. Lester my name is Nicky and I'm calling you from Bloomsbury Publishing.''

Bloomsbury Publishing. Wait. It was one of the most important publishing houses in the UK.

When Phil heard Nicky's introduction he tried not to get his hopes up. He had been rejected a few times already by them so he wasn't expecting the next sentences.

''I'm calling you beacuse we are interested in publishing your novel 'Strangers of Space'. We have been looking into more Sci-fi works lately and yours seems to be one of our favourites. Will you be willing to meet next Monday at noon for a proper meeting?''

Phil gasped at this. What was even happening!? He couldn't belive this, he was going to cry. This was what he had been waiting for all his life and now it was close to becoming true.

''Yes sure! Thank you! I just... thank you!'' Phil managed to let out, still not believing this was happening.

''Great! If you have any questions just call into this same phone number and I will try to answer them all.'' Nicky offered.

''Okay, and thank you!'' Phil repeated, not knowing what more he should say.

Nicky said her goodbyes and hung up the phone, leaving Phil alone with his thoughts.

''This is real, Phil. You are probably getting published by one of the most important publishing houses in the UK.'' he said to himself, still surprised and a bit in shock.

Suddenly Dan's worried voice startled him, ''Phil, you okay? Is something wrong? You seem paler than usual... Was that phonecall a bad one?''

Phil felt Dan's hand touch his face, as if trying to get Phil out of the daze he was in.

''Yes... I mean, no! I mean, I'm okay and no, it wasn't a bad phonecall, it was probably the best phonecall I have ever gotten Dan!'' he excitedly said, showing his boyfriend a big smile before breaking the news, ''it was from Bloomsbury Publishing, they said they really like 'Strangers of Space' and they are interested in publishing it! Dan, they want to publish my novel!'' Phil squealed, giving a few little jumps before he felt a pair of strong and big arms enveloping him in a big hug.

''Phil, that's awesome! I'm so happy for you! I'm so proud of you!'' Dan said to him, separating their bodies a bit so they could look at each other in the eyes, a wide and pround smile on his face, ''I cannot believe my boyfriend is going to be a best selling author...'' Dan teased but is his tone Phil could really hear his sincerity. Did Dan really believe he could be a best selling author? Wow.

''Dan, shh! I don't know if I will ever get to be one, but just having this opportunity is... is amazing. But either way, thank you for believing in me.''

''Phil... I will always believe in you.'' Dan said, bringing Phil into a deep kiss that showed him better than anything else how much Dan supported him.

''So, what about some celebratory popcorn, huh?'' Dan asked once they separated for air, lacing their fingers together to pull Phil towards the couch.

Phil nodded repeatedly, as he sat down on the sofa and stared up at Dan, who was still looking at him with the softest smile on his face, ''Celebratory popcorn sounds perfect right now...''

''Three minutes and I'll be back, okay? Just, put a movie on if you want...'' Dan leaned down and pecked Phil on the lips, leaving Phil wanting nothing more than gentle kisses from the curly haired.

''Okay...'' Phil whispered against Dan's lips, turning around just in time to watch his boyfriend prepare the microwaved popcorn as he hummed to an unknown song.

_'Yeah, I'm in love with Dan Howell.'_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! You can leave a comment and/or kudos if you want to. It would mean a lot <3
> 
> You can follow me on Tumblr at irphanfic.tumblr.com to know the updates of my phanfics or if you want to prompt me anything. See you next time! :D


	12. Strawberries and cream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They decide to have another date that ends up with some unexpected results.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... I'm sorry. I know it takes me ages to upload but uni is becoming more and more difficult to handle this days and I have like no free time. That, and many, many writer blocks have been a nightmare but, here you have another chapter! 
> 
> As always, kudos and comments are welcome!

The unusual pair spent Friday and Saturday finishing painting and rearranging everything in Dan's renovated room, taking really long breaks just to enjoy each other's company.

Now, a bright and sunny Sunday morning arrived and Dan had a plan. He wanted to take Phil on a date to celebrate his newest achievent. After that call from the pubishing house he could see that Phil was happier, finally believing that he could achieve the dream of being a writer and could become true in days; and he, of course, was the proudest boyfriend ever.

That's why he was waiting for Phil to open the door of his flat as he waited for the blue eyed, dressed with a nice button up shirt and black jeans, a wide blanket in his hands and a backpack full of food and his Polaroid camera, ready to take his boyfriend on a picnic.

''Hi Dan! I'm ready!'' Phil said as soon as he opened the door of his flat, Dan admiring the way the red t-shirt combined with the wide jean jacket that he was wearing fitted him, ''I'm so excited for our picnic!'' he exclaimed, leaning in for a few quick kisses that Dan gladly accepted, managing to close the main door the best he could.

''Yeah, I can see that,'' Dan laughed, grabbing Phil's hand and leading them both to the street where a taxi was already waiting for them.

The park wasn't that far away, but they wanted to enjoy a comfortable time in their own bubble, not being disturbed by other pedestrians on their way there talking about trivial things like how Phil had already left his window cleaning job to be more focused on his writing and how the Rocky Planets were getting ready for their first game of the season that was almost near.

Dan paid the taxi and led Phil to a nice patch of grass that was surounded by a few trees, making their area a bit more scheduled than others and more private. Laying down the plaid blanket Dan sat down, patting the space next to him, signaling Phil to do the same.

Taking a few sandwiches and two bottles of water they began to eat, speaking about trivial things, ''I've missed this...'' Phil suddenly said, still munching on his sandwich, looking dreamily at the families and group of friends around them, some of them playing, eating or just taking a nap. Dan looked attentively at his boyfriend, who seemed to be opening up a bit more to him now...

''When I was little my parents, brother and I went every Sunday morning on a hike around the woods that were near our neighbourhood and always brought a picnic basket with us, full with leftover dishes my mum would get ready just that morning and ate them while sitting down on any clear spot that we could find. If it was raining, we would always come back home to eat, get dried and laid down the blanket on our living room to simulate that experience,'' Phil let out a little chuckle before getting a bit more serious, ''then, my brother and I got older and stopped doing it, telling our parents that it was a 'silly tradition' and all. I still remember the hurt in their faces when we said that. After a few years, we finally became proper adults and apologized for that, treating them to picnics every Sunday as we did back then. It was really nice to see them smile so brightly after so many years... Then, we had to move to London for work reasons and I just remembered that it has been a while since I have been home with my parents, and treating them to a picnic too.' Phil sighed as he finished the story, looking back at Dan who had a sad smile on his face.

''You miss your parents, don't you?'' Dan said softly, reaching to caress Phil's cheek as a comforting way.

''A bit, yeah, I speak with my mom almost everyday, we sometimes Skype but it's not the same. I feel a bit lonely sometimes but now... I have you. I feel less lonely with you.'' Phil said, looking into Dan's eyes who repositioned himself to sit and be closer to Phil.

Dan could swear his heart leaped. Phil felt as lonely as he did, and even though Phil's feeling of solitude wasn't really related with any romantic aspect as Dan's was, he could also empathize with him.

''I feel less lonely with you too, Phil.'' Dan almost whispered, lacing their fingers together. Phil smiled brightly at him and Dan could feel his heart starting to beat faster, did that even mean anything? Was it worrying? But all thoughts were disappeared when Phil pecked his cheek.

''C'mon, let's stop being sappy and eat dessert, because you brought dessert, right?''

''How could I even forget to bring dessert to a picnic, Philip?'' Dan mocked as if he was offended, reaching out to grab a pack of fresh strawberries along with a can of whipped cream from his backpack, ''Does this count as dessert to you?''

Dan laughed at the way Phil eagerly nodded at the food, instantly grabbing the can of whipped cream and spraying what would be considered a great amount of cream directly on his mouth.

''Phil!'' Dan almost screamed, snatching the can from his boyfriend's hands and hiding it behind his back, ''you are going to finish it before we even try the strawberries!''

''I'm not even sorry'' Phil tried to say smugly, strugging with the whipped cream still inside his mouth, managing to gulp down what was left.

''Well, then, no strawberries or whipped cream for you!'' Dan picked a few strawberries and began eating them, not letting Phil to even grab the pack from his hands.

Phil looked at him with big 'puppy-eyes' along with a pout, to which Dan tried to pull a mad face at him, but was useless; his boyfriend's antics to adorable to even fake annoyance at him.

''Okay, here...'' Dan was about to hand Phil the pack of strawberries but thought better of it and grabbed one, bringing it closer to Phil's mouth, tapping his pink and thin lips with the fruit, ''open up.''

Phil gladly opened his mouth and ate the strawberry, humming at the taste of it. ''Now, your turn.'' he said, reaching across to grab the can of whipped cream that Dan had hidden, spraying a bit too much of the cream on one of the strawberries, feeding it to Dan, who also ate the single fruit in one bite, leaving all his upper lip and the tip of his nose sporting a foamy white moustache.

''These are soooo good,'' Dan said with his mouth full, instantly feeling the sugary goodness get down his throat, not really knowing why Phil was trying not to laugh, ''What? Why are you laughing, you dork?''

Phil was full on laughing now, ''you... you have...'' he pointed to Dan's mouth, making him realize he was probably sporting a dumb look caused by the damned whipped cream.

''Oh! Let me just...'' Dan was about to turn around and grab a napkin to clean himself up when Phil launched himself at him, kissing his sweetly, managing to get a bit of whipped cream also on himself.

''You smeared it on yourself now!'' Dan said, leaning in for another kiss, this one becoming deeper as he laced his arms around Phil's neck and brought him to lay down on top of him, Dan's back touching the blanket, really liking the way Phil's hands were caressing the skin on his hips that had been exposed.

Dan didn't know for how long they ended up making out lazily, but he was sure Phil's lips and his were now almost as red as the strawberries they had eaten for dessert.

''It's getting a bit late... and we both have important things tomorrow,'' Phil whispered as he separated himself from Dan, sitting back down on the blanket, looking towards the sunset in front of them.

Dan also sat down and stared at the sunset, enjoying the oranges and yellows that were painting the trees and grass, also giving Phil's face a glow that was worth capturing...

Realizing his thought, he took out his Polaroid camera and snapped a photo of his boyfriend's profile, and even thought the colours couldn't be appreciated, Phil's calm and happy face was, and Dan was happy with that.

He was about to take another photo of Phil when the blue eyed suddenly turned around, realizing what Dan was doing, ''Dan, no!'' Phil hid his face behind his hands, but Dan took another photo anyways and smiling when it revealed the result.

''Um... would you want to take a picture with me? I really want to keep this date in mind, I mean, not that I would forget but...'' Dan admited shyly, not really wanting to look at Phil.

This little things were important to Dan. Even though it could be seemed as silly, having a photo of this wonderful day was enough to make Dan a bit better at this relationship thing, knowing that he wanted to treasure every memory with Phil.

''Of course, come here,'' Phil opened up his arms and Dan scooted closer to him, feeling safe with Phil's arm around his shoulders as their cheeks touched

He handed Phil the Polaroid and lifted it a bit higher, getting both of them in shot and saying ''Smile!'' before pushing the button, both smiling widely at the camera.

Dan grabbed the picture and shook it a bit so the image would appear, ''Look, I... I love it.'' Dan said as he showed it to Phil, who looked at it before grabbing Dan by his chin and leaning in for a sweet kiss that Dan gladly accepted, smiling at the sweet touch of their lips together, not realising Phil had taken another picture of them till they separated.

''I really like this one,'' Phil said as he took the newest picture, giving it to Dan, showing him how it turned out.

Dan held the picture and stared at it, realising how happy he looked. How happy he was around Phil. Next to Phil.

''I really like this one too.'' Dan whispered before helping Phil pick up everything to go back to their homes.

______________

 

Monday was... unexpected.

Dan woke up later than expected due to his alarm failing to ring on time, so he dressed quickly on his tracksuit, picked up his practice bag and bolted out of his flat to arrive to practice on time.

He was 10 minutes late and his coach kind of shouted at him, but as soon as he started with the exercises it all had calmed down. He was too concentrated to care about the weird looks he was receiving from his teamates... Well, maybe not so much. Why were they looking at him like that? Was it because he had been 'missing' for two days straight? He shook all these thoughts out of his head and decided to only focus on baseball. Baseball and only baseball.

Once practice had finished, all players walked into the changing rooms and as soon as they quickly showered and changed and about to leave Dan was suddenly grabbed by Eric, pulling him aside away from all the other players, ''Care to explain?''

''Explain? Explain what? Why I haven't been to practice? What are you on ab...?'' Dan was wondering, not really understanding Eric's behaviour.

''No, that's not why!'' Eric said a bit annoyed, ''Look, you told me about Phil and you were like completely enamoured with the guy and then I find out that you are with Claire, okay, nothing wrong maybe you have a crush on her and it didn't work out with Phil but I go today and I find this!''

Eric pulled out his phone and showed it to Dan, it was an article with another freaking paparazzi picture of he and Phil yesterday at the park, where they were laughing and kissing...

''What's going on? Are you with Claire and cheating on her with Phil? Seriously Dan, I know I'm your friend but that's just... twisted and wrong...''

Dan wasn't listening anymore, he was looking at the damn article and it's horrible headline trying to understand how he had reached this point.

**'Baseball star Dan Howell spotted acting affectionately with secret lover, cheating on girlfriend Claire Vickard!'**

The brown eyed looked back at Eric with wide eyes and picked up his phone from the bag, finally looking at the 20 missed calls from Estelle and 5 from Phil, along with multiple messages coming from both of them, instantly calling his agent back to know what the hell was happening.

''Estelle! Sorry, I didn't look at my phone this morning and I just found out about everything! I.. Estelle, I...'' Dan was saying, geting more and more panicked at every word, ''I'm not cheating on Claire, I'm not going out with Claire! I'm with Phil, I just... I just want to be with Phil...''

His breaths were becoming faster as usual, as he felt his lungs couldn't get enough oxygen. He felt as if he was drowning, making him panic even more. He wanted to escape from this fast...

''Dan, calm down, breathe please...'' Estelle asked him gently with a soft tone.

''Hey, Dan, copy my breathing, in... out...'' Eric was telling him, trying to also help Dan as he had done that last time.

Dan copied Eric the best he could, relieved that his breathing was slowly coming back normal, still a bit ragged, but steady enough to continue speaking to Estelle.

''Estelle, I... I'm sorry... I wasn't thinking when I took Phil out on that date. I didn't realise the rumours about me and Claire were still going on. I probably damaged all of this, right? I'm so sorry... '' Dan said, not knowing what more he could tell Estelle more than multiple apologies.

He had been so damn happy for Phil that moment he really forgot about his fake relationship with Claire, about his fame and all that came with it.

''Dan, don't be sorry. It's not your fault, okay? It isn't. If it's someone it's mine. I talked to Peter and Claire's assistant when the first article came out, we talked about getting an agreement to how to get you both out of this mess. We have been talking everyday and we were about to meet today to finally reach some agreement but the paparazzi were faster...'' Estelle explained. Dan knew Estelle so well by know he could hear he guilty tone. It wasn't her fault either! No one was ready to know this new pictures and article would come out today!

''I didn't tell you anything about it because I didn't want you to worry, you have been so damn happy lately I didn't want to make that smile disappear Dan, I'm so sorry...'' Estelle said, ''I know it's kind of rushed but, could you talk to Phil, see if he is fine and then contact me as soon as you can so we can do something?''

Oh, god. Phil.

Dan realised he hadn't checked with Phil yet. He felt as the worst boyfriend ever right now and wanted to cry.

Phil was really shy and Dan was sure he wasn't ready to be on the spotlight yet, not when they haven't been together for that long either... He didn't really want to think how this could have affected Phil.

Also, Phil had his interview with the publishing house today? He hoped this mess didn't manage to harm Phil's writing career badly, if it did, he would never be able to look at Phil in the eye ever again and that meant not seeing the blue eyed ever again; get him out of his life; and even if he didn't want to admit it, he was sure he wouldn't be able to handle Phil's absence in his life.

''Yeah, I... I'll check with Phil, see how he is handling all of this,'' Dan said before offering a 'goodbye' to Estelle and ending the call.

''Eric, could you take me to Phil's, please? I really need to talk to him''

''Sure, let's go.''

______________

 

Phil was sure this was the strangest Monday he had ever had.

On his way back home from the tense and uncomfortable meeting with Bloomsbury Publishing he kept reminiscing on the day.

He woke up later than usual but it was still early, giving himself enough time to get ready and go and meet up with Bloomsbury Publishing at noon and see what they could get to with his novel when he decided he should check his Twitter feed, only to find out that Dan had been acused of cheating on Claire with him.

What was even happening!?

He scrolled down, finding a few pictures of them in the park, fooling around all smiley and cute. He didn't understand anything. They were accusing Phil of being after Dan's money, that he just wanted fame and had lured Dan to get what he wanted.

That was not like that! It was all a complete lie!

Phil managed to read the complete article and read a few of the comments, most of them calling the pair a lot of homophobic slurs that Phil hadn't heard since high school and it really hurt. Even more coming from people he didn't know, anonymous haters on the internet that didn't dare to show their faces...

He had instantly called Dan but he guessed he was in practice already so after a few times, hedidn't bother to call anymore and decided that he would have to face whatever was going to happen. So, dressed as discreetly as he could, he hailed a taxi and made it on time to the most stressful meeting he had ever had in his life.

Now, walking upstairs of his flat he sighed, just wanting a calm afternoon and maybe an explanation from Dan that he would probably get soon since he found the brown haired waiting by his door, pacing up and down, his eyes a bit red as if he had been crying a bit, making Phil's heart ache for him.

''Dan?'' Phil called, getting the attention from the player since he hadn't seen him yet.

''Phil... I... First, I'm so, so sorry, I wasn't careful and I just didn't realize any of this would happen... I.. ugh, just...'' Phil could see Dan struggling to explain everything, so he walked up to him and touched his arm in a calm way, trying to get Dan's focus on him.

''Dan, hey, c'mon, let's go in...'' Phil opened the door and as soon as they were inside Phil's flat he turned around to hug Dan, both of them sighing into the other's neck, finally finding a comforting place in this troublesome day.

Phil walked both down to his bedroom, knowing they both needed to just lay down for a while before needing to talk. He handed Dan some plaid spare pyjama pants so he could be more comfortable and signed him to change in the bedroom as he did the same in the ensuite bathroom, giving himself a few minutes alone to face whatever he was about to hear.

As he entered the bedroom his heart broke a little as he spotted Dan laying down on his bed, hands on his stomach as he faced the ceiling, cleaning a stray tear away from his cheek, ''Dan...'' he whispered to himself, walking to his bed and grabbing one of Dan's hand between his, intertwining their fingers as Phil laid down close to Dan, facing his boyfriend's profile, still leaving a small space between them to not overwhelm the other.

''I'm so sorry Phil.'' Dan started with somewhat a shaky voice, still not looking at Phil, ''I was so exited to take you on that date I didn't realize what had happened before. I forgot about the rumours with Claire, about the paparazzi and maybe this sounds strange, but for a moment I forgot I was famous, that I'm in the public eye almost everytime but with you I forget I have a thousand eyes on me all the time, and now more than before.

With you it's as if I'm in another world, in just a bubble with both of us where I can be myself and enjoy life for once, where I feel fine, happy all the time and not lonely and miserable. And... I would really hate it if this managed to burst that bubble because Phil I understand this is not somehting that happens everyday and people are mean and I never want you to get hurt, not when it is because of me.''

Phil felt his Dan's thumb tracing a repetitive pattern along his skin and he took it as a sign to wait, that Dan wasn't done yet so he traced with his thumb back and let Dan speak as long as he needed. He explained how he woke up late today, not realizing that he had multiple phone calls from Estelle and how paniked he was before Estelle explained everything, that they hadn't been able to get to a deal out of all of this and how worried he was about Phil and his interview.

''So yeah, I was really worried about your interview. If this managed to interfere in your professional life, once again Phil, I'm so sorry and I understand if you don't want anything to do with me again because really, I would never forgive myself if you don't get to be a writer because of me.''

Dan drew another shaky breath and squeezed Phil's hand, giving him queue to him to talk now.

''Dan, this is not your fault. In any way, so please, stop feeling guilty about it. We didn't know this would happen and Estelle didn't either so there is nothing we can do.'' Phil sighed. This wasn't easy for him either and it was a situation that was completely out of his hands, nothing he could do to make it better, ''And, I know this is not what you want to hear but I went to the meeting with Bloomsbury and...''

''And!?'' Dan suddenly turned around, facing Phil, a worried expression on his face.

''And they said they still want to publish my novel but it's going to take time till all of this calms down, so once my face is out of all this articles it can be safe to publish it. They also said I should probably use a nickname for my novel since even if my name is not leaked to the press, it could be dangerous, but that's up to me.'' Phil explained, noticing how Dan let out a sigh of relief, thankful that it wasn't as worse as he had expected.

''But Dan... I'm not ready to be out to the press yet.'' Phil admited. He thought once Dan's and his relationship was made public he would be ready but not in this circumstances, when Dan was acused of being a cheater and Phil was called so many ugly words that he wanted to hide forever, ''I don't want to disappoint you and I think if we came out together and make a statement about this mess it could fix it, but as long as I want to trick my mind that everything will be okay, I can't.'' Phil whispered, burrowing his face onto the pillow and almost wanting to hide from Dan. He didn't really know why, but he was feeling more vulnerable as ever and the sensation of insecurity was getting bigger and bigger by any minute.

''Phil, I understand.'' Dan drew Phil closer and eveloped his arms around Phil's slim frame, tracing random patterns on his back, letting Phil find peace in Dan's chest by listening to his heartbeat, instatly feeling more relaxed, ''I'm not going to pressure you but Estelle will want to talk to you soon about all of this, so I need you to be ready to whatever she suggest we can do, will you think about it?''

Phil nodded, letting a small kiss on Dan's chest, just where his heart was located, ''I will.''

 

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! You can leave a comment and/or kudos if you want to. It would mean a lot <3 
> 
> You can follow me on Tumblr at irphanfic.tumblr.com to know the updates of my phanfics or if you want to prompt me anything. See you next time! :D


End file.
